Actually, a pretty damn good one, but anymore.......fuck...I feel like I'm 'Shady Acres' bound.
Get an e-mail today from our main supplier, reminding me of the National Sales Meeting in Point Clear, Alabama................in less than 4 fuckin weeks!! Oh fuck me.....I do recall there was sumthin I did register for. So, I check my 'Saved' e-mail and sho'nuff, there are my hotel reservations, my rental car reservation and my fuckin airplane confirmation. Motherfuck.....ok, maybe I did do these things like 4 months back, BUT one would think they wouldn't totally escape your fuckin mind! I realize it's not like I'm going to Rio or anything but it is an important meeting (along with golf and deep-sea fishing....ok, I quit playin golf but you get the point) plus, this year (so far...this is always 'subject to market correction') we're in the Top 5 nationally as for as sales go so there's bound to be several 'attaboys' thrown my way (more to do with my Sales Manager but fuck...I'm the one who hired him to begin with so I'm allowed the 'credit').
Lets see, weren't there some other things I scheduled during this 6 day period....and agreed to?
1. I was invited to go to see the Cubs in their Playoff Home Opening Series
2. A 50th BD party
3. A Sales Presentation at big customer's facility.
Oh yeah, these fuckin things I have written on my calendar...not the other though. So, I have spent the morning calling and giving my regrets for Numbers 1 & 2 along with coming up with a different excuse other than 'I forgot I had to...' Number 3 was a lot trickier. I gave some bullshit about wanting to bring in some "visual aid crap and I wouldn't have it until the following week but it would be soooooooooooooo beneficial etc etc etc". Ok, got that done too. Now, just have to come up with some beneficial 'visual aid crap'.
On top of that, I was.....uh...hmmm....er.....well fuck, I forgot what I was gonna say.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Back in the Day...
...most of you will find this boring but I guess I'm really writing this for me, so ')~~~~
I went to College, really, no shit, I did! It was a small private Midwestern Methodist college and the reason I chose it was quite simple, my best friend, Randy (whom I'd gone to Grade School all the way through High School with) said he was going there. His brother, who is a dick btw, went there before him. Kinda like a legacy thing, I suppose.
Anyway, thats where we went, about 3 1/2 hours from home but only 45 minutes from Columbia, Missouri and all of its nightlife (thats where the Univ. Of Missouri is located). The town where our school was located is small, 2600 people. Probably 8 churches, 1 theatre, 2 drugstores (that had lunch counters) and 1 bar. That 1 bar became more important to me than even 'SV' is today.
The bar, Mac's, was owned by 2 brothers, both of whom had been in WWII and both in 'The Battle of the Bulge' (if you don't know, look it up). Walking into this bar was like going back in time. The bar was up front and they served only beer (at that time) along with cold sandwiches, frozen pizza, and chili. In the back room was 5 snooker tables and 1 8-ball table. These were real fuckin tables, not that shit you find mostly today. 3" slate tops and weighed a million fuckin pounds. I got a job there (became very good friends with one of the owners son's) and to this day, it was the best fuckin job in the world.
Everyfuckinbody had a tab, didn't matter who you were or if you had 2 nickels to rub together, if you wanted a tab, you got one. Everything was written down on those little 'guest checks' then stuck in a folder. That was it, no phone number, no credit card, no nuthin. To them, by agreeing to a tab, you had given them your word and that was good enough. 'Course the owners knew everyone and most of the kids that had tabs were college students so they knew where the fuck to find you, if needed....but, they never worried about that.
It was so cool working there, among the framed 'Ike' photos, the old pictures of people long past, signed pictures of sports icons, along with the constant talk of sports; local high school, college, Pro baseball and Pro football. The latter 2 created some real heated shit because this town is pretty much located exactly in the middle of the state, halfway between Kansas City and St. Louis, so you had supporters for both. Anyone over 30 was pretty much a 'local' and you learned real fast what they drank and what their occupation was (majority were farmers/ranchers). They were pretty wary of me at 1st, A) I was in college & B) I had long hair....ok, there was probably a 'C' too but I don't think most of them really knew what pot smelled like ;) But, in the end, they thought I was 'OK' and I got along pretty well with all of them, including Harold.
Harold was a local legend....known for not only his willingness to fight but also his supposed undefeated record. BIG....not fat, not overly muscular, but stood about 6'5" and probably weighed in around 230-240...maybe 42-45. Hands as big as smoked hams. He also had kind of a short-fuse especially after he'd drink 12-15 beers. I was ALWAYS very polite to him and knew he had a kid playing football somewhere out of state so I made sure I'd ask him about that.
There was 'kid' on our schools football team, Quinton, maybe 22 and a big fuckin redneck, and a jackoff as well. From the KC area and he was always smackin someone around...just plain mean. One Saturday afternoon, I'm workin, and both Harold and Quinton are there sittin at opposite ends of the bar. Quinton starts that 'hippie' shit with me.."nother beer, hippie.....hippie....make me a pizza"....crap like that. I so wanted to take that baseball bat under the bar and whack the shit outta him but honestly, I was afraid he take it from me and kill me with it. Harold isn't sayin one word and I know he's thinkin 'fuck it...aint my business'......didn't blame him on that one. Finally, I pretty much take my life into my own hands when Quinton tells me to "hurry the fuck up with my pizza".....and I tell him "If you want to eat it raw, you can have it now, not a problem".....and I start moving towards the pizza oven. Fuckin Quinton comes off his barstool and I'm thinkin "smart fuckin move, Einstein...this guy's gonna knock the fuck outta you" then I realize that Harolds laughin his ass off at my 'joke'. Quinton turns towards Harold and says his own 'Einstein' comment..."Better mind your own fuckin business, farmer boy, before I knock the shit outta you". Ahhhhh.....Karma. Harold doesn't say a fuckin word, doesn't even look at him, just puts the bottle to his mouth and finishes his beer...BUT...I can see his face has that 'redder than a tomato' look. Finally, Harold gets up and turns towards Quinton. Both Quinton and I saw the look Harold had on his face at the same moment....and when I looked at Quinton I could tell, he was scared. Harold said, in a very eerie calm voice, "You have a big mouth, fat boy. You think because your bigger than most you can bully your way around. I'm gonna to put an end to that kind of thinkin". Harold really didn't walk over to Quinton, it was more like 'strolled', no hurry, no rush. Quinton could see what was gonna happen and thought he was ready, well he thought so before Harold hit him square in face before he could even raise his fists. Gotta give Quinton props, he didn't go down, which surprised the shit outta me, because he was hit hard! As Quinton was drawing his fist back to counter, Harold hit him 2 more times...THEN Quinton went down, and Harold threw in a few more for good measure while Quinton was trying to struggle to his knees. That was it, Quinton was down for good now and the only sounds were him tellin Harold he'd 'had enuff'. Harold wasn't quite done. Oh, he didn't smack him anymore but he made sure he humiliated him proper. Harold told Quinton NEVER to come back in the bar again and made him answer 'YES SIR', Harold made him apologize to him, which he did, AND THEN Harold told him to apologize to me for being such a prick (Oh fuck....he'll find me on campus and really kill me now) but then Harold added, "If I find out you're fuckin with Efen again, I'll find you and the next time I won't go easy on you". Harold turned, threw a few bucks on the bar and walked out. Didn't say a fuckin word. Now, I'm left with pyscho-fuck on the floor, nose and mouth streaming blood. WTF was I to do? I grabbed a bar towel, wet it, and threw it to Quinton who was now sittin up. "Thanks" he mumbled..WTF..he's thanking me? Guess he was truly scared of the 'next time' Harold had promised him. From there on out, whenever I'd have a chance encounter with Quinton, he'd always speak or nod. Actually had a couple of classes with him the next semester and he turned out not to be too bad a guy. I'm sure he was still really a prick and all but wtf did I care.....I was Harolds 'buddy' ;)
I write this because today I learned Harold had passed away a short-while back. He was 75 years old.
I went to College, really, no shit, I did! It was a small private Midwestern Methodist college and the reason I chose it was quite simple, my best friend, Randy (whom I'd gone to Grade School all the way through High School with) said he was going there. His brother, who is a dick btw, went there before him. Kinda like a legacy thing, I suppose.
Anyway, thats where we went, about 3 1/2 hours from home but only 45 minutes from Columbia, Missouri and all of its nightlife (thats where the Univ. Of Missouri is located). The town where our school was located is small, 2600 people. Probably 8 churches, 1 theatre, 2 drugstores (that had lunch counters) and 1 bar. That 1 bar became more important to me than even 'SV' is today.
The bar, Mac's, was owned by 2 brothers, both of whom had been in WWII and both in 'The Battle of the Bulge' (if you don't know, look it up). Walking into this bar was like going back in time. The bar was up front and they served only beer (at that time) along with cold sandwiches, frozen pizza, and chili. In the back room was 5 snooker tables and 1 8-ball table. These were real fuckin tables, not that shit you find mostly today. 3" slate tops and weighed a million fuckin pounds. I got a job there (became very good friends with one of the owners son's) and to this day, it was the best fuckin job in the world.
Everyfuckinbody had a tab, didn't matter who you were or if you had 2 nickels to rub together, if you wanted a tab, you got one. Everything was written down on those little 'guest checks' then stuck in a folder. That was it, no phone number, no credit card, no nuthin. To them, by agreeing to a tab, you had given them your word and that was good enough. 'Course the owners knew everyone and most of the kids that had tabs were college students so they knew where the fuck to find you, if needed....but, they never worried about that.
It was so cool working there, among the framed 'Ike' photos, the old pictures of people long past, signed pictures of sports icons, along with the constant talk of sports; local high school, college, Pro baseball and Pro football. The latter 2 created some real heated shit because this town is pretty much located exactly in the middle of the state, halfway between Kansas City and St. Louis, so you had supporters for both. Anyone over 30 was pretty much a 'local' and you learned real fast what they drank and what their occupation was (majority were farmers/ranchers). They were pretty wary of me at 1st, A) I was in college & B) I had long hair....ok, there was probably a 'C' too but I don't think most of them really knew what pot smelled like ;) But, in the end, they thought I was 'OK' and I got along pretty well with all of them, including Harold.
Harold was a local legend....known for not only his willingness to fight but also his supposed undefeated record. BIG....not fat, not overly muscular, but stood about 6'5" and probably weighed in around 230-240...maybe 42-45. Hands as big as smoked hams. He also had kind of a short-fuse especially after he'd drink 12-15 beers. I was ALWAYS very polite to him and knew he had a kid playing football somewhere out of state so I made sure I'd ask him about that.
There was 'kid' on our schools football team, Quinton, maybe 22 and a big fuckin redneck, and a jackoff as well. From the KC area and he was always smackin someone around...just plain mean. One Saturday afternoon, I'm workin, and both Harold and Quinton are there sittin at opposite ends of the bar. Quinton starts that 'hippie' shit with me.."nother beer, hippie.....hippie....make me a pizza"....crap like that. I so wanted to take that baseball bat under the bar and whack the shit outta him but honestly, I was afraid he take it from me and kill me with it. Harold isn't sayin one word and I know he's thinkin 'fuck it...aint my business'......didn't blame him on that one. Finally, I pretty much take my life into my own hands when Quinton tells me to "hurry the fuck up with my pizza".....and I tell him "If you want to eat it raw, you can have it now, not a problem".....and I start moving towards the pizza oven. Fuckin Quinton comes off his barstool and I'm thinkin "smart fuckin move, Einstein...this guy's gonna knock the fuck outta you" then I realize that Harolds laughin his ass off at my 'joke'. Quinton turns towards Harold and says his own 'Einstein' comment..."Better mind your own fuckin business, farmer boy, before I knock the shit outta you". Ahhhhh.....Karma. Harold doesn't say a fuckin word, doesn't even look at him, just puts the bottle to his mouth and finishes his beer...BUT...I can see his face has that 'redder than a tomato' look. Finally, Harold gets up and turns towards Quinton. Both Quinton and I saw the look Harold had on his face at the same moment....and when I looked at Quinton I could tell, he was scared. Harold said, in a very eerie calm voice, "You have a big mouth, fat boy. You think because your bigger than most you can bully your way around. I'm gonna to put an end to that kind of thinkin". Harold really didn't walk over to Quinton, it was more like 'strolled', no hurry, no rush. Quinton could see what was gonna happen and thought he was ready, well he thought so before Harold hit him square in face before he could even raise his fists. Gotta give Quinton props, he didn't go down, which surprised the shit outta me, because he was hit hard! As Quinton was drawing his fist back to counter, Harold hit him 2 more times...THEN Quinton went down, and Harold threw in a few more for good measure while Quinton was trying to struggle to his knees. That was it, Quinton was down for good now and the only sounds were him tellin Harold he'd 'had enuff'. Harold wasn't quite done. Oh, he didn't smack him anymore but he made sure he humiliated him proper. Harold told Quinton NEVER to come back in the bar again and made him answer 'YES SIR', Harold made him apologize to him, which he did, AND THEN Harold told him to apologize to me for being such a prick (Oh fuck....he'll find me on campus and really kill me now) but then Harold added, "If I find out you're fuckin with Efen again, I'll find you and the next time I won't go easy on you". Harold turned, threw a few bucks on the bar and walked out. Didn't say a fuckin word. Now, I'm left with pyscho-fuck on the floor, nose and mouth streaming blood. WTF was I to do? I grabbed a bar towel, wet it, and threw it to Quinton who was now sittin up. "Thanks" he mumbled..WTF..he's thanking me? Guess he was truly scared of the 'next time' Harold had promised him. From there on out, whenever I'd have a chance encounter with Quinton, he'd always speak or nod. Actually had a couple of classes with him the next semester and he turned out not to be too bad a guy. I'm sure he was still really a prick and all but wtf did I care.....I was Harolds 'buddy' ;)
I write this because today I learned Harold had passed away a short-while back. He was 75 years old.
Monday, September 8, 2008
Random Musings...
....yeah, OK, you're correct, this is what I post when I don't have a fuckin idea on any other subject;
I think I've made up my mind on the upcoming election, lets see, Obama's wife and Biden or Cindy McCain and Sara Palin........yeah, like it's even fuckin close.
In heavy traffic today and saw a car waiting to pull out of a subdivision. I stopped and motioned her to 'come ahead'. She did.....and didn't give me a 'thank you' wave or nuthin. So, being the mature individual I am rode her fuckin bumper for 2 miles. Bitch...I hope I see you tryin tomorrow. I'll give you the 'fake come ahead wave' and then when you try, I'll pull up and leave your ass sittin in the middle of the fuckin road while I look at you and smile. I hate you and your kind.
Same goes for that fuck that I held the door for at 'SV' last week. I even kinda know the prick and never liked him. So, I hold the door and he walks right in like I'm his fuckin man servant or sumthin. So, I say "Your Welcome" in a plainly pissed tone...startled, he turns and stutters 'thanks. Fuck him, doesn't count. I always kinda wanted to make his punk ass cry...maybe another time. Actually, I oughta kick his Dad's ass too cuz that shit comes from how you were raised. Fuckin heathens.
Have to remember that when it comes to 'tipping', my Dad is 'old school'. He's a great guy, funny, able to repair or install anything and has been the most instrumental person in my life..BUT...he figures 10% on any bill is more than adequate which is ironic because he'll spend top dollar on whatever it is he buys. We're all out to dinner the other night and I plan on paying but he tells the waitress to give him the check. The bill is $66.00, I know this because I asked. He lays down $72.00. I get up and say I'm going to the mens room but find the waitress instead. I hand her some extra to which she laughs and says "You don't have to do that, I know how older people are. Most of them have had to work very hard for every penny they've ever earned and they don't throw money away on someone just bringing them their food". How sweet was that? I then gave her a little more because anyone with that outlook, especially on older people and my Dad in particular, deserves it. Oh yeah, he and my Mother ALWAYS made sure it was 'yes, ma'am, no sir, thank you, you're welcome, etc'. They didn't raise no freakin heathen.
Evidently my daughter is content with her car being washed by the rain. I can't even begin to express just how fuckin irritated I get with her regarding how she keeps the fuckin thing. When she went to Florida for 2 weeks, I took it and had the whole fuckin thing cleaned, inside and out as well as the tires and wheels. Looked like fuckin new. She has more fuckin clothes in that thing than she does her closet....and its an SUV so it aint tiny. She gets that shit from my ex-wife, her mother.
Oh, she has a boyfriend apparently. Lives in Florida (distance is a huge plus), where they met when she was there on one of her vacations, and seems decent. Has his degree (a plus), good job (a big plus), nice looking (don't care), and as she put it "Dad, he's really very nice (a good thing), opens the doors for me (big plus), really into sports (another big plus) and he never has had a DUI" (a plus unless that means he has just never got caught). He flew in a couple of weeks ago and is coming back in a few days so they can be together for her birthday. Not sure but this one sounds a little more serious than some of the others. I'll try not to act like a big prick IF I ever meet him....I said "I'll try".
Idiots...they are fucking everywhere! Placed some baseball tickets for sale on Craigslist. I'm always very specific about all the details so I don't have a dozen e-mails back and forth. I listed the dates I had. I get an e-mail from a guy saying he wants them BUT not for the dates I have listed, another date, the day I'm going. I e-mail him back saying that's not what the ad said. He e-mails me, saying thats the 'only day he can go'. Does this guy think I really give a fuck when he can or can't go??? I even told him thats the game I'm going to...didn't register at all.
Put my foot down (sorta) today at 'SV'. Girl working behind the bar was complaining how hot it was in there today (it was). I asked her why she wore jeans then instead of her normal short skirts? She thought it was going to be cooler but she said she did have a skirt in her car. I asked why she didn't go put it on then. She said she would, if she had wore underwear today. She asked if she gave me the money would I go to one of the local stores and buy her a pair? I said "Even IF I was sleeping with you, I don't do that shit". Fuck.......Now, if we coulda worked a 'deal', then..... ;)
I think I've made up my mind on the upcoming election, lets see, Obama's wife and Biden or Cindy McCain and Sara Palin........yeah, like it's even fuckin close.
In heavy traffic today and saw a car waiting to pull out of a subdivision. I stopped and motioned her to 'come ahead'. She did.....and didn't give me a 'thank you' wave or nuthin. So, being the mature individual I am rode her fuckin bumper for 2 miles. Bitch...I hope I see you tryin tomorrow. I'll give you the 'fake come ahead wave' and then when you try, I'll pull up and leave your ass sittin in the middle of the fuckin road while I look at you and smile. I hate you and your kind.
Same goes for that fuck that I held the door for at 'SV' last week. I even kinda know the prick and never liked him. So, I hold the door and he walks right in like I'm his fuckin man servant or sumthin. So, I say "Your Welcome" in a plainly pissed tone...startled, he turns and stutters 'thanks. Fuck him, doesn't count. I always kinda wanted to make his punk ass cry...maybe another time. Actually, I oughta kick his Dad's ass too cuz that shit comes from how you were raised. Fuckin heathens.
Have to remember that when it comes to 'tipping', my Dad is 'old school'. He's a great guy, funny, able to repair or install anything and has been the most instrumental person in my life..BUT...he figures 10% on any bill is more than adequate which is ironic because he'll spend top dollar on whatever it is he buys. We're all out to dinner the other night and I plan on paying but he tells the waitress to give him the check. The bill is $66.00, I know this because I asked. He lays down $72.00. I get up and say I'm going to the mens room but find the waitress instead. I hand her some extra to which she laughs and says "You don't have to do that, I know how older people are. Most of them have had to work very hard for every penny they've ever earned and they don't throw money away on someone just bringing them their food". How sweet was that? I then gave her a little more because anyone with that outlook, especially on older people and my Dad in particular, deserves it. Oh yeah, he and my Mother ALWAYS made sure it was 'yes, ma'am, no sir, thank you, you're welcome, etc'. They didn't raise no freakin heathen.
Evidently my daughter is content with her car being washed by the rain. I can't even begin to express just how fuckin irritated I get with her regarding how she keeps the fuckin thing. When she went to Florida for 2 weeks, I took it and had the whole fuckin thing cleaned, inside and out as well as the tires and wheels. Looked like fuckin new. She has more fuckin clothes in that thing than she does her closet....and its an SUV so it aint tiny. She gets that shit from my ex-wife, her mother.
Oh, she has a boyfriend apparently. Lives in Florida (distance is a huge plus), where they met when she was there on one of her vacations, and seems decent. Has his degree (a plus), good job (a big plus), nice looking (don't care), and as she put it "Dad, he's really very nice (a good thing), opens the doors for me (big plus), really into sports (another big plus) and he never has had a DUI" (a plus unless that means he has just never got caught). He flew in a couple of weeks ago and is coming back in a few days so they can be together for her birthday. Not sure but this one sounds a little more serious than some of the others. I'll try not to act like a big prick IF I ever meet him....I said "I'll try".
Idiots...they are fucking everywhere! Placed some baseball tickets for sale on Craigslist. I'm always very specific about all the details so I don't have a dozen e-mails back and forth. I listed the dates I had. I get an e-mail from a guy saying he wants them BUT not for the dates I have listed, another date, the day I'm going. I e-mail him back saying that's not what the ad said. He e-mails me, saying thats the 'only day he can go'. Does this guy think I really give a fuck when he can or can't go??? I even told him thats the game I'm going to...didn't register at all.
Put my foot down (sorta) today at 'SV'. Girl working behind the bar was complaining how hot it was in there today (it was). I asked her why she wore jeans then instead of her normal short skirts? She thought it was going to be cooler but she said she did have a skirt in her car. I asked why she didn't go put it on then. She said she would, if she had wore underwear today. She asked if she gave me the money would I go to one of the local stores and buy her a pair? I said "Even IF I was sleeping with you, I don't do that shit". Fuck.......Now, if we coulda worked a 'deal', then..... ;)
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Just the Thing to Cheer Elle Up!
I really think this will work. It's always good to have a 'back-up' plan, ya know ') Maybe you and J-Fab can practice together :)
Friday, September 5, 2008
Efen Bunyan
(Ron, as a prelude to this post, I have included one photo from 'SV'. I have others but I'm tryin to figure out a way to to do that 'black bar' thing over the eyes)
Just fuckin great................weather forecast for the next 3 days..........rain. Actually, I don't mind the rain so much, its the fuckin wind. I get home yesterday, look out the window, and see a branch the fuckin size of a telephone pole, laying in the upper part of my backyard. FUCK......this is gonna be a huge fuckin ordeal.
I have a chainsaw, admittedly, a piece of shit one. This fuckin thing, no matter what I do, takes the better part of an hour to get started. When I finally achieve this, I feel like I'm gonna puke/faint at the same time. Pulling and pulling, listening to all those 'I'm really gonna fuck with Efen by sounding like I am gonna start very soon' engine noises. I really can't believe I own this fuckin thing. Actually, a guy owed me $50 and said he give me the chainsaw and we'd call it even. Yeah.....I fucked up, plus I paid another $75 to get it 'tuned up'. That worked.....until the second time I went to use it. Same fuckin deal again. I had this problem with a snowblower, then said 'fuck this', and went out a bought a bigger one with that ever handy 'electric starter'. Why am I not doin the same by buying a new chainsaw you ask? Cuz.....I use the fucker so rarely I can't justify spending the $500 or so for sumthin that will just sit most of the time.
Before I even get this bitch started, I'll have to take my loppers (Elle saying: wtf are those?) and cut off all the small branches which will leave me a fuckin brushpile the size of a Volkswagen Hippie Van. Then I'll use the saw to cut this fuckin branch into probably 15 three-foot sections. Of course all the while 'motherfuckin' everything in sight. After all this shit is done comes the hard part...........whatinthefuckinworld do I do with all this shit??? I have an area where I do put leaves and small branches BUT no fuckin way can I pile all of this shit there....the neighbors would bitch like mfers (and we all know that is MY job) when they discover the sun is now blocked out and it looks like an eternal eclipse. My only recourse, besides throwin all that crap over into my neighbors yard, is to call someone to come and haul it away. While that sounds fairly simple, it isn't. Unless you carry all that shit to the curb, they'll charge you another $175 to walk in the back to get it AND if they deem it too big to carry, you get hit with an additional $50 for them to pull the 'chipper' up to turn it into sawdust. 'Course when they pull the 'chipper' through your yard they'll leave ruts 2' deep.
FUCK.......I long for the good 'ol days when you could just burn the shit and be done with it. But no, evidently that puts too much shit in the air, unlike all those fuckin smokestacks around.
Just fuckin great................weather forecast for the next 3 days..........rain. Actually, I don't mind the rain so much, its the fuckin wind. I get home yesterday, look out the window, and see a branch the fuckin size of a telephone pole, laying in the upper part of my backyard. FUCK......this is gonna be a huge fuckin ordeal.
I have a chainsaw, admittedly, a piece of shit one. This fuckin thing, no matter what I do, takes the better part of an hour to get started. When I finally achieve this, I feel like I'm gonna puke/faint at the same time. Pulling and pulling, listening to all those 'I'm really gonna fuck with Efen by sounding like I am gonna start very soon' engine noises. I really can't believe I own this fuckin thing. Actually, a guy owed me $50 and said he give me the chainsaw and we'd call it even. Yeah.....I fucked up, plus I paid another $75 to get it 'tuned up'. That worked.....until the second time I went to use it. Same fuckin deal again. I had this problem with a snowblower, then said 'fuck this', and went out a bought a bigger one with that ever handy 'electric starter'. Why am I not doin the same by buying a new chainsaw you ask? Cuz.....I use the fucker so rarely I can't justify spending the $500 or so for sumthin that will just sit most of the time.
Before I even get this bitch started, I'll have to take my loppers (Elle saying: wtf are those?) and cut off all the small branches which will leave me a fuckin brushpile the size of a Volkswagen Hippie Van. Then I'll use the saw to cut this fuckin branch into probably 15 three-foot sections. Of course all the while 'motherfuckin' everything in sight. After all this shit is done comes the hard part...........whatinthefuckinworld do I do with all this shit??? I have an area where I do put leaves and small branches BUT no fuckin way can I pile all of this shit there....the neighbors would bitch like mfers (and we all know that is MY job) when they discover the sun is now blocked out and it looks like an eternal eclipse. My only recourse, besides throwin all that crap over into my neighbors yard, is to call someone to come and haul it away. While that sounds fairly simple, it isn't. Unless you carry all that shit to the curb, they'll charge you another $175 to walk in the back to get it AND if they deem it too big to carry, you get hit with an additional $50 for them to pull the 'chipper' up to turn it into sawdust. 'Course when they pull the 'chipper' through your yard they'll leave ruts 2' deep.
FUCK.......I long for the good 'ol days when you could just burn the shit and be done with it. But no, evidently that puts too much shit in the air, unlike all those fuckin smokestacks around.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Back......I Think
We'll see......woke up this morning and could sense 'Old Efen' was returning. Fuck, why couldn't that have occurred Sunday?........... then I could be posting about important stuff like the newest 'beach attire' and it's benefits towards mankind!
I can only attribute my change of attitude to the fact that I mowed the grass last evening. Yeah, I fucked that off too during my 'episode', something I would never have done before, especially with it looking like you could turn it into pasture and graze cattle. Of course, since the remnants of Gustav are now heading our way and they're saying 5-6" of rain over the next couple of days, the impetus to get it cut was increased. Spent the last 20 minutes cutting in a fucking downpour but its done. Maybe the fact that I actually accomplished something worthwhile was all that I needed. Who knows...I aint no fuckin Dr. Phil.
Another good sign was today at 'SV'. Evidently it's 'short skirt' day with CFM's as accessories. Last week I'm not sure I would have even commented but today, as is part of my 'routine' with one girl, I asked her if she was wearin 'hot underwear?'. What she told me was quite descriptive and certainly well-worth me asking the question.....and she ended it by sayin "you know the one's I mean, I've showed 'em to you". Yes, I did know the one's she meant ;) BTW.....she has the best legs in the place....just in case any of you were wondering ;)
Another step in the right direction, my Service Coordinator is gone for the rest of the week on vacation. This is a 'pain-in-the-ass' job, having to handle customers who most of time are somewhat pissed because their equipment is down and 'need someone right away!', then having to juggle our already full schedules to get a service guy there ASAP. Normally, I hate handling this job and while I do have someone else I can shift it off to, I find myself readily available to do this for the rest of the week.....even without muttering "fuck this shit" over and over.
Have I turned the corner?...............quite possibly. Oh.....and I'm looking forward to this weekend at 'SV" as well. Which is somewhat of a surprise because Friday evening was supposed to be 'The Dove Trip', but Gustav has fucked that up. Where we go is already getting hammered by rain and wind and the first things that fuck up dove hunting are the above conditions. Those little wuss fuckers, instead of braving it out, when bad storms come in, they fuckin take off and head South....by the thousands. 'Course they'll be flying right into Gustav, guess they aint all that bright...........or they don't get The Weather Channel.
Wish me luck.................. ;)
Elle.....will you stop it with that 'heart you' thing........thats like saying 'you complete me'.....both make me want to fuckin gag.......................honey ;) ;) Oh well, what the fuck....I heart you too..hehe.
Oh...BTW...J-Fab, try this link below...may be of help (I thought it was either USA, TNT, or FX that ran re-runs of Prison Break...you may want to look there as well) AND...what do you mean by 'hints'?????? I'm really offended and hurt and the only thing that would ease my fragile psyche would be, well......ya know ;) AND...since you have all this freakin free-time, one would think you may have an interesting post or two 'bout your trip to Nashville...just sayin ;)
http://www.prisonbreakmanhunt.com/download-prisonbreak/
I can only attribute my change of attitude to the fact that I mowed the grass last evening. Yeah, I fucked that off too during my 'episode', something I would never have done before, especially with it looking like you could turn it into pasture and graze cattle. Of course, since the remnants of Gustav are now heading our way and they're saying 5-6" of rain over the next couple of days, the impetus to get it cut was increased. Spent the last 20 minutes cutting in a fucking downpour but its done. Maybe the fact that I actually accomplished something worthwhile was all that I needed. Who knows...I aint no fuckin Dr. Phil.
Another good sign was today at 'SV'. Evidently it's 'short skirt' day with CFM's as accessories. Last week I'm not sure I would have even commented but today, as is part of my 'routine' with one girl, I asked her if she was wearin 'hot underwear?'. What she told me was quite descriptive and certainly well-worth me asking the question.....and she ended it by sayin "you know the one's I mean, I've showed 'em to you". Yes, I did know the one's she meant ;) BTW.....she has the best legs in the place....just in case any of you were wondering ;)
Another step in the right direction, my Service Coordinator is gone for the rest of the week on vacation. This is a 'pain-in-the-ass' job, having to handle customers who most of time are somewhat pissed because their equipment is down and 'need someone right away!', then having to juggle our already full schedules to get a service guy there ASAP. Normally, I hate handling this job and while I do have someone else I can shift it off to, I find myself readily available to do this for the rest of the week.....even without muttering "fuck this shit" over and over.
Have I turned the corner?...............quite possibly. Oh.....and I'm looking forward to this weekend at 'SV" as well. Which is somewhat of a surprise because Friday evening was supposed to be 'The Dove Trip', but Gustav has fucked that up. Where we go is already getting hammered by rain and wind and the first things that fuck up dove hunting are the above conditions. Those little wuss fuckers, instead of braving it out, when bad storms come in, they fuckin take off and head South....by the thousands. 'Course they'll be flying right into Gustav, guess they aint all that bright...........or they don't get The Weather Channel.
Wish me luck.................. ;)
Elle.....will you stop it with that 'heart you' thing........thats like saying 'you complete me'.....both make me want to fuckin gag.......................honey ;) ;) Oh well, what the fuck....I heart you too..hehe.
Oh...BTW...J-Fab, try this link below...may be of help (I thought it was either USA, TNT, or FX that ran re-runs of Prison Break...you may want to look there as well) AND...what do you mean by 'hints'?????? I'm really offended and hurt and the only thing that would ease my fragile psyche would be, well......ya know ;) AND...since you have all this freakin free-time, one would think you may have an interesting post or two 'bout your trip to Nashville...just sayin ;)
http://www.prisonbreakmanhunt.com/download-prisonbreak/
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
The Lost Weekend
No...........sadly, not the 'Ray Milland' version, mine and mine alone.
Normally, I get all amped up when I have upcoming days off, in this case, I had 4 days in a fuckin row. And yes, I was really looking forward to 'em. So, what did I do or accomplish?......................nary one fuckin thing, zip, nada. I pretty much felt like I was on the Guvment payroll the whole 4 days....sigh.
Did go to SV Friday for 'lunch' but, and this kinda worries me, I just couldn't get 'into it'. Oh yeah, all the hot girls were there and they were all happy about the holiday weekend (I could tell this by the numerous shots they were downing), plus only 1 was wearin a bra so I could definitely tell the rest were quite excited by the aspect of 3 days off. I don't know where in the fuck my head was but it just didn't matter all that much. Even one of them asked me to 'hang around' til she got off (no, Elle...not in that way ;) which was only 2 hours later, but I had no interest. The only thing I wanted to do was -gulp- go home. Lemme re-phrase that 'kinda worries me' thing, it actually worries the fuck outta me. But, thats what I did.....went home and turned on the fuckin TV...at 3:00 in the fuckin afternoon on a perfectly beautiful day! WTF???? Did go out to eat, mainly because sister-in-law was in town, but was back home by 7:30.....and then right to the couch and TV.
Saturday, got up at my normal 5:45 AM fuckin shit, drank coffee and read the paper, then sorta perused the computer some before actually doin some shit around the house, which I finished by 11:00 AM. Normally, this is the time I'm on the way in to 'SV'........normally. Saturday I just didn't feel like it, in fact it didn't even appeal to me. So, I just layed around and watched fuckin TV some more...didn't even get in the shower until 4:00. WTF is up with that??? Usually, like most folks, I can't fuckin wait til I hop in the shower. Even then, truthfully, I didn't really want to but.... some friends were coming over around 6:00 and I figured they would appreciate me being all cleansed and shit. They came over, I bbq'd, we did the 'chit-chat' thing, and they left around 11:00.............the whole fuckin time I was wishin they'd leave by 9:00.
If ya'll are thinkin, 'Efen's bound to be back to normal by Sunday', then ya'll are so fuckin wrong, it gets even worse. 'SV" was closed Sunday and Monday, but I had 'options'. In fact, Saturday afternoon I got a text from a girl who used to work at 'SV" but is now at a different bar, still close by though. She tells me that the owner is afraid Sunday is going to be slow so he added a 'twist'....Sunday is now 'theme' day....and the 'theme' was 'Beach Party'. Not real fuckin original I admit but the waitresses (and her) were going to be wearing 'beach attire'. Now, I know this girl real good and I am aware of some of the waitresses and let me tell you, seeing them in what they would consider 'beach attire' would be a bargain at any price. So, what happens, I wake up Sunday.............and don't feel like doin one fuckin thing. I don't feel like gettin dressed, don't feel like showering, don't feel like leavin the fuckin house at all. So, I don't. What did I do?......oh, watch that mfen TV more and nap.....fuckin nap! Don't get me wrong, I love naps BUT not when I get up from bed, go to couch, and then fuckin nap an hour later!! AND....to blow off 'Beach Day' and not even give it two fuckin thoughts....I'm gettin more worried by the fuckin minute!
Monday arrives and I'm thinking "I can't fuckin believe I've wasted all this time....I'm gonna do some shit today!" Yeah, my 'doin shit' consisted of making a picture DVD w/ music of 500 35 mm slides that my Dad had taken over the years. Ok, granted, this was not a quick task, took me about 7 hours on the fuckin computer puttin it together and when I was done, my fuckin eyes felt like someone poured sand in them. So, I was pretty much fuckin done for Monday....'cept for goin to the couch to catch up on my TV watching.....sheesh. Fortunately, for me, last night was the season premiere of 'Prison Break'. Immediately after that was over, I headed right to bed to watch something for another hour...I can't fuckin go to bed at 9:00!......yeah, made it all the way to 9:30.
Today and it's back to work.........................fuck, how I long for the next Holiday weekend, I could sure use it.
Normally, I get all amped up when I have upcoming days off, in this case, I had 4 days in a fuckin row. And yes, I was really looking forward to 'em. So, what did I do or accomplish?......................nary one fuckin thing, zip, nada. I pretty much felt like I was on the Guvment payroll the whole 4 days....sigh.
Did go to SV Friday for 'lunch' but, and this kinda worries me, I just couldn't get 'into it'. Oh yeah, all the hot girls were there and they were all happy about the holiday weekend (I could tell this by the numerous shots they were downing), plus only 1 was wearin a bra so I could definitely tell the rest were quite excited by the aspect of 3 days off. I don't know where in the fuck my head was but it just didn't matter all that much. Even one of them asked me to 'hang around' til she got off (no, Elle...not in that way ;) which was only 2 hours later, but I had no interest. The only thing I wanted to do was -gulp- go home. Lemme re-phrase that 'kinda worries me' thing, it actually worries the fuck outta me. But, thats what I did.....went home and turned on the fuckin TV...at 3:00 in the fuckin afternoon on a perfectly beautiful day! WTF???? Did go out to eat, mainly because sister-in-law was in town, but was back home by 7:30.....and then right to the couch and TV.
Saturday, got up at my normal 5:45 AM fuckin shit, drank coffee and read the paper, then sorta perused the computer some before actually doin some shit around the house, which I finished by 11:00 AM. Normally, this is the time I'm on the way in to 'SV'........normally. Saturday I just didn't feel like it, in fact it didn't even appeal to me. So, I just layed around and watched fuckin TV some more...didn't even get in the shower until 4:00. WTF is up with that??? Usually, like most folks, I can't fuckin wait til I hop in the shower. Even then, truthfully, I didn't really want to but.... some friends were coming over around 6:00 and I figured they would appreciate me being all cleansed and shit. They came over, I bbq'd, we did the 'chit-chat' thing, and they left around 11:00.............the whole fuckin time I was wishin they'd leave by 9:00.
If ya'll are thinkin, 'Efen's bound to be back to normal by Sunday', then ya'll are so fuckin wrong, it gets even worse. 'SV" was closed Sunday and Monday, but I had 'options'. In fact, Saturday afternoon I got a text from a girl who used to work at 'SV" but is now at a different bar, still close by though. She tells me that the owner is afraid Sunday is going to be slow so he added a 'twist'....Sunday is now 'theme' day....and the 'theme' was 'Beach Party'. Not real fuckin original I admit but the waitresses (and her) were going to be wearing 'beach attire'. Now, I know this girl real good and I am aware of some of the waitresses and let me tell you, seeing them in what they would consider 'beach attire' would be a bargain at any price. So, what happens, I wake up Sunday.............and don't feel like doin one fuckin thing. I don't feel like gettin dressed, don't feel like showering, don't feel like leavin the fuckin house at all. So, I don't. What did I do?......oh, watch that mfen TV more and nap.....fuckin nap! Don't get me wrong, I love naps BUT not when I get up from bed, go to couch, and then fuckin nap an hour later!! AND....to blow off 'Beach Day' and not even give it two fuckin thoughts....I'm gettin more worried by the fuckin minute!
Monday arrives and I'm thinking "I can't fuckin believe I've wasted all this time....I'm gonna do some shit today!" Yeah, my 'doin shit' consisted of making a picture DVD w/ music of 500 35 mm slides that my Dad had taken over the years. Ok, granted, this was not a quick task, took me about 7 hours on the fuckin computer puttin it together and when I was done, my fuckin eyes felt like someone poured sand in them. So, I was pretty much fuckin done for Monday....'cept for goin to the couch to catch up on my TV watching.....sheesh. Fortunately, for me, last night was the season premiere of 'Prison Break'. Immediately after that was over, I headed right to bed to watch something for another hour...I can't fuckin go to bed at 9:00!......yeah, made it all the way to 9:30.
Today and it's back to work.........................fuck, how I long for the next Holiday weekend, I could sure use it.
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