Like a JunkYard Dog...

Thats how mad I was and truthfully, I guess I haven't calmed down all that much....I mean I am still royally fuckin pissed...uh....guess I had better back up some.

If y'all recall, I had found a '68 GTO online..all the way in fuckin Youngstown,Ohio...12 fuckin miles from Pennsylvania.

I talked to the guy who owned this car, several times, and asked him every fuckin question I could think of, about the car. I even had him send me a lot of additional pictures so I could look them over closely.

Finally I had decided that this was the car I was going to buy. I figured that I would drive up, rent a 'car hauler' trailer there, buy the car, and haul it back.

A buddy of mine from 'SV' went along. I wanted him to go, not only for the company, but because he knows about shit like this...plus he's a funny fucker.

I pick him up at 7:00 AM on last Thursday...and its raining. Raining like a mfer. In fact, we drove the whole fuckin way in the rain. Besides being annoying as it can be, it forced me to drive slower and when I have 600 fuckin miles to drive, going slower really isn't an option that I prefer.

For those of you that are geographically challenged, from St. Louis, you have to drive through Illinois, Indiana, and then almost all the way across Ohio to get to Youngstown. But...I was excited so the drive wasn't that bad.

About 30 miles out of Youngstown, I call the GTO guy and ask if we could come by and look at it now instead of in the morning. He says 'fine' but tells me that he would like to get this done before he sits down for dinner. WTF??? I just drove 11 fuckin hours and this dickhead is worried about his fuckin dinner? I tell him I'll do what I can but I'm not going to rush it through.

I tell my buddy what he said. He replies 'I bet he's fuckin pussy whipped and his wife is makin him sell his car'.

We pull up to his house........a very nice house too. He comes out and we do all the bullshit intro crap. We walk around to the garage and there it is, just like he said................. except the 1st thing I see a 15" section of rusted door on the passenger side, along with 2 holes that had been drilled for the outside mirror, except when they tried to open the side vent window (most of you probably don't remember these), it hit the mirror, so they simply drilled 2 more holes and moved back...but didn't bother fill the holes.

WTF?? Like I said, I had him send me a lot of pictures and nothing like this showed up. My buddy and I look over the car, both of us finding things we didn't like (Uh....are the GTO emblems supposed to be so loose they feel like they're going to fall off....whats all that paint bubbling...is that rust coming through....Do you see the transmission fluid leaking..if the bumpers have been re-chromed, then why are they rusty)?

Now...I am in fuckin disbelief. I just drove all this way and I'm going home empty-handed. GTO guy jumps in and starts it up....Okay..that almost swayed me..this thing sounded great. I'm sure people could hear it rumbling 2 fuckin blocks away.

He gets out, smiling. "Sounds 'bad-ass' doesn't it" Now.....get what he says next and I swear this is the honest fucking truth...."You oughta see the girls at McDonalds drive-thru when I pull up. They're all smiles and give me the 'thumbs up'. Of course he didn't say 'thumbs-up', he just snapped both if his thumbs up and fuckin grinned. I coulda jacked him right between his fuckin eyes. Yeah...thats what I want, a car that impresses a bunch of 16 year olds at the drive-thru.

I pull out the pictures he sent and ask him "Wheres the big fuckin rust spot on the door"?

GTO Guy: Uh..I guess it didn't show up in the picture.

Me: Thats bullshit...you photo shopped the fuckin picture...and had me drive 600 fuckin miles. Did you think I wouldn't see it? That I would just say okay and take it? Man...that is really a fucked up thing to do (of course, my voice was getting louder and louder). We're outta here and you can keep your fuckin car.

My buddy, sensing that he may have to end up bailing me out of a Ohio jail, moves over to me and says 'lets go'.

GTO Guy: YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BUY IT?? I transferred the title over to your name yesterday. How am I going to sell it with your name on the title?

Me: I don't give a fuck, thats your fucking problem and that just shows me what a fucking moron you are. Who transfers a title BEFORE you get the money?

GTO Guy: I'm keeping your $50 deposit. Thats what it cost me to change the title over.

Me: I don't give a fuck...keep the fuckin 50.

We drove off and headed back for an hour or so...with little being said. Finally my buddy said "Ya know, that guy was not only married to an ugly gal, he had ugly kids too". That kinda put things in 'perspective' and I started laughing. We stopped and got a hotel for the night. By the next day, all was good and the trip back was pretty enjoyable....that is until I got a phone call from the place I was going to rent the 'car hauler'. I called them after I left GTO Guy and told them I wouldn't be needing it. Now this gal calls me and tells me they are going to charge me $50 for NOT renting it....even though they didn't disclose this prior as part of the verbal rental agreement. "Go ahead...I don't care...I'll just dispute it on my charge. Thank you for calling". We laughed some more ;)