My Day in Hell (aka Work)

MOTHERFUCK!!! If you aren't in the mood to listen to big-time bitchin, you'd be better off 'movin-on'...like to J-Fabs very funny post, http://livinlife08.blogspot.com/ (which has certainly been the highlight of my other than fucked day).

Here we go..............my business requires that we are able to be reached 24/7. This is because should we have a customer whose equipment has broken down and they need their plant back up and running, we need to send a service tech out ASAP.

After hours, we transfer the phones to a cell phone, which happens to be my fuckin cell phone. So, if a customer calls at 3:00 fucking AM, my fuckin phone rings. As you may recall from an earlier post, I ain't any fuckin good without coffee when I just wake up and answering my cell at 3:00 AM certainly doesn't allow for that to happen. Oh, I've tried other methods regarding our 24/7 phone number. 1st, I had the phones forwarded to a pager with a fairly lengthy recording, with detailed fuckin instructions, such as: 1. Leave your name, 2. Leave a FUCKIN NUMBER, 3. Leave your FUCKIN EXTENSION TOO!. Some of these fuckin people are about as sharp as bag of wet fuckin mice. You would think these fuckin instructions would be detailed enough. Yeah, one would fuckin think that. I can't tell you how many fuckin times that motherfuckin pager would go off at some ungodly hour only for me to call it back and get the message. I'd then call the dumb-fuck back at the fuckin number HE left only to get "I'm sorry, our office is now closed. Please call back between 8:00-5:00. If you know the persons extension, please enter it now". WTF?? This cocksucker has his plant down, 120 people standing around doin nuthin, gettin paid, and this fucking genius wants to make me guess an extension?? Lets see, how many fuckin combinations are there to any given 2 or 3 digit possibilities? FUCK!! I mean ya know whats going to happen..I don't dare fall back asleep cuz I know this fuckwad is going to call back, sometime, after he doesn't get a return call. Sure enough, 30-45 minutes would go by, and the fuckin pager goes off again. Call it, same fuckin message, no extension, and this time the guys PISSED because, guess what, no one has called his trailer-livin ass back! Anyway, shit like this caused me to go to 'Option 2'.

'Option 2' was to alternate the pager between myself and 3 of my service guys. This lasted about a fuckin month because my service guys have the phone skills of a fuckin doorknob. So, I went to 'Option 3' which is the aforementioned.

This morning, 4:27 AM, cell phones ringing;

Me: (barely audible)....hello?

Customer: Who's this?

Me: .........(irritated by that lack of phone courtesy)....Whoucallin?

Customer: Efen's company.

Me:..Uh..yeah..this is.

Customer: This is 'just spent over 120K buying your equipment' and the fuckin thing is down.

Me: Hmmmm....that's not good

Customer: No shit it ain't good. I need someone NOW.

Me: Uh....can you tell me the problem?

He proceeds which leads me to about 20 other fuckin questions. After I get a clearer picture of the problem, I tell him I can't do anythhing until the manufacturer opens and that isn't until 8:00 AM. Surprisingly he says "Oh, no problem, we have back-up equipment we can run.....I'm leaving at 7:00 but you can call 'Day-time Boss' back..sorry if I woke you...I guess I should have had him call at a better hour". WTF???? Are you fuckin serious?......"sorry IF you woke me"......a "BETTER hour???????" MOTHERFUCK!!!

Don't get me wrong, these customers who are the ones we make our money from and I'll do anything to help out any of them.....just PLEASE use your fuckin head before going to 'Auto Dial!'

Oh.....still trying to get this problem taken care of.....almost 9 1/2 hours later...... stay tuned.

'SV' Bar & Grill

(Elle pretty much knows this place so this will be 'old news' for her;)

For about 10 years I have been going to the same place, damn near every day, for lunch. Close to work and I can get in and out as I see fit. It's a Bar & Grill but I have dubbed it 'SV' as in 'Silicone Valley' as in lots of girls with 'enhancements'.

I am pretty much like Norm on 'Cheers'. I have my own spot at the bar (in which they don't let anyone else sit unless they know I won't be in) and when I walk in they say "EFEN". Unlike Norm, I drink only iced tea (no...I am not a 'recovering', I just cannot drink during the day and still function).

Some of these girls have become 'close' friends, especially those that I have known since the beginning. Getting to know these girls pretty well certainly has its benefits. They know my affinity for boobs and most of them have been kind enough to 'placate' me. Thats what friends do, ya know ;)

I also have made several good friendships with some of the guys there, guys who like me, go there every day. Some are retired, some aren't, but we all share that 'special affinity' ;)

An intro to some of the cast:

Norm (really) : BIG guy, hands as big as a catcher's mitt. Nobody fucks with Norm...at all. Good-natured but has a 'streak'. Used be in the 'construction bidness'. The 'word' is that he has done some 'time' on Federal Charges (no one will ask). When he was younger, he took offense to a Sheriff's deputy calling him 'Fat Boy' during a routine traffic stop. Being the cool-head individual he was, he beat up the deputy, he then drove to the Sheriff's Office and turned himself in. Turns out he grew up with the Sheriff, which I'm certain he knew before turning himself in. Details are sketchy on the events that followed. Fortunately, Norm likes me and appreciates my humor....and I'm very careful it is not at his expense.

Curt: Another BIG guy but who really is a 'Fat Boy'.....and a pussy..and possibly a closet perv. Case in point; A few weeks back we had tornado warnings. He tells us: "My daughter called and said since they don't have a basement, when the sirens went off, she and her husband got into the bathtub. Being the 'typical' father, I asked her if she had any clothes on....hahaha". WTF???? TYPICAL FATHER???? Yeah, typical if you're a fucking whacko! Also he likes to know everybody's business. Basically, a nosey fuck. He ALWAYS tells everyone, even fucking strangers that happen into The Bar to; "Have a Good Day....Drive Carefully....Hope you win on your Lotto ticket".......all that fuckin shit.....if he really cares then he's even more fucked up than I thought, which is a definite possibility. When I get tired of listening to him, I make fun of him. He then gets all quiet and pouts. Fuck him.

Larry: Oldest of the bunch but hilarious. Example: Bartender was in a bad mood one day and was being pretty much a bitch to him, for no particular reason. He told her "Why don't you go back to your double-wide and fry something". LMFAO!! He earned my ever-lasting admiration with that one comment.

Karen: One of the 'guys'. 39 YO, divorced 2x, 3 kids including a 'not-yet-married-just-had-a-baby' 17 YO daughter. 18 YO son just spent 6 months in jail for being in the 'wrong place at the wrong time'....yeah, you always get 6 months for that. The daughter and her 'baby daddy' live with her as well. Menial PT job for him. Not really sure there's great things in the future for that poor child. Oh yeah....Karen has BIG boobs...real...and likes to show them. Not really a girl you'd bring home to meet the parents though.

Tom 'The Cook': A very funny fucker and extremely talented. Can do ALL the 'Looney Tunes' characters PERFECTLY! Also very fucking intelligent. We often play obscure trivia games w/ one another..like 'Actors who wore ascots?' Shit like that. Since we're brighter than the others, this is mostly a 2 person game.

There are some other minor bit players, like 'Telephone Company Brian', who if you'd ask the time will build you a fuckin clock. This guy just won't STFU. He's one of those guys you don't EVER make eye contact with. Oh, and he calls me by my 1st initial, not my name. I'm guessin you have an idea how I feel about that.

There's also 'Longhair Frank'.....who I call fucking 'Mumbles'. This motherfucker can be seated right fuckin next to you (if you fuck up and allow it I mean) and he'll talk for 5 fuckin minutes and you have no fuckin idea what he's saying. Not that I ever listen, but you get the idea. Oh, he's been divorced for like 6 years and every fucking conversation, when you CAN make it out, has to do with him getting fucked in the Divorce Decree. I personally don't give a shit. Glad she fucked him.

There is a relatively new bartender, sister of the owner. Don't know her real well yet but she certainly shows 'promise'. 39, attractive, blonde, tall, big store-bought boobs, and collagen lips (my own astute observation). Anyhow, the other day she was wearing some kind of low-cut, tight, spandex-looking top, green and white striped. I happened to be admiring her stripes when I made out a flower-like outline over her nipple(s), under the top. I stared some more and thats when it hit me.....PASTIES...she's wearing fuckin pasties over her nipples..I mean, WTF? You have boobs 'out-to-there', low top, no bra, and you've suddenly become 'self-conscious'???? Just to confirm, I asked one of the other girls what she thought. She checked them out and agreed. I thought, WTF?....if she's gonna work here then she needs to be subjected to questions, just like any of the others. So, I say "Uh.....whats that outline I see thru your top?" You never know how a person is going to react to a question like that, kind of a roll of the dice. She didn't even bat an eye "Oh...they're pasties. I'm always afraid I may offend some of the women that come in because, er, uh...well, my nipples really stick out, especially when's it cold in here, so I put these on". My answer was very diplomatic, "Do you see any girls at the bar?". She lets this sink in for a second and says "No, you're right, I'm gonna fix that". She turns around, reaches in her top, and voila...she removes them. I'd never seem 'em before (the pasties I mean...and her boobs for that matter) so she shows 'em to me (the pasties I mean). Damn...they look just like fancy band-aids. I love to learn new stuff :)

Oh, she was right....it evidently was very cold in there :)

PS: J-Fab......you really ought to take up Elle's slack since she's gone. I'm sure 'O-fuckin-Hio' would be 'blog' worthy :) C'mon, J-Fab..show me your boo...uh, er..blogs ;)

Vegas Recap Part 2

(Elle..glad you're better...I think I'll have a 'shot' to celebrate that ;)

Vegas in July (as I have whined before) in one hot motherfucker. Geez....hot in the desert in July, who woulda possibly guessed? The day we arrived, Friday, was 104 and not much wind. Saturday was a whole fucking different story. You know what it's like when you stand in front of a dryer vent..well multiply that by, oh I don't know, maybe a fuckin million. The temp was 108 and there was a 25-30 mph wind. You'd walk under those 'mist sprayer' things, which normally I find very fucking annoying, only to quickly figure out that in that temp and with the wind, they don't do a fuckin thing. No shit, you can't even feel the water as it evaporates as soon as it touches your skin. I found that very fucking annoying as well.

Friday night, after being up since 5:30 AM and with the fact I was now in a two-hour time zone difference, by 9:00 PM, I was fuckin whipped. But...I was meeting my cousins who were coming in from Dallas and their plane didn't get in until 11:00 which meant it would be midnight before they got to the hotel. But, I toughed it out, actually toughed it out until 4:30 AM and got up at 8:00.

Saturday, as I said, up at 8:00 and needing coffee, badly. No fuckin coffee maker in the room, no fuckin refrigerator either. These greedy fucks want you out of the room as quickly as possible (with the hope you go into the casino which it pretty much a fuckin given since you can't go anywhere unless you walk through the fucking thing 1st). I'm not good in the morning until I have coffee and I don't 'chit-chat' at all. Just leave me the fuck alone until I'm caffeined-up. I go to the elevator where's theres another guy waiting, wearing a fuckin Boston Red Sox cap and jersey. WTF???? Get off at the wrong exit on the way to a Sox game? Yeah buddy, I get it...

I try to stay in the background because I know this asshat is going to want to talk. Sadly, I am correct.

Asshat: How ya doin'? (in that obnoxious fucking accent). I just got here. I'm from Bahston (No shit..really..c'mon, you're really from Boston?..I had no fucking idea..wow..I woulda never guessed!)

Me: Uhnh (grunt-speak for hello)

Asshat: Ufrum?

Me: (FUCK...NO FUCKIN DOUBT...here it comes....if I hadn't been so fuckin groggy I woulda lied)......St. Louis

Asshat: St. Louis?? No kidding? We beat you in the '04 World Series. Man..was that great! Do you know how long it had been since we won the WS?

Me: 86 years.

Asshat: THATS RIGHT. Damn, you must hate me..HAHAHAHA (Yes, I fuckin hate you but not for the reason you're thinking)

*****DING*****

Finally that fuckin elevator door opens, he heads right for it. I turn and go back to the hall to wait for another. If I had to ride down with that fuck, I swear, I woulda killed him.

After coffee and a chocolate-drizzled crossiant ($8.00...yeah, good deals abound in Vegas), it was pool time. I did mention it was hot......well, 'hot' does have its perks. It's a big pool, 3 pools actually...and the population of 'hooker-wannabes' was astounding. Ya know, chicks that wear their CFM's (uh.....Come Fuck Me shoes) TO THE POOL but carry their flip-flops in their 'Nancy Gonzalez' beach bag. Gimme a fuckin break. They do walk on the pool's far side (so they don't slip and bust their collective asses) where they choose their prime tanning locations but it's also the furthest spot from the actual pool...and you know it's because since they'll have to walk further, they'll be watched for a greater amount of time. While I admit some of them were very 'doable' with big boobs and all, I kept going back to the whole intelligence thing. Man, am I fucked up.... I didn't watch long because evidently it was MY responsibility to bring my own fucking sunscreen because the only thing available to me was 'Banana Boat Dark Tanning Oil' which wouldn't offer any protection from a fucking lightbulb at 1000 feet.

Speaking of hookers...what a major fucking disappoint. When I was last here, you couldn't swing a dead cat and not hit a hooker...today, you can't tell who's a hooker and who isn't. Seriously, back in the day, hookers looked the part, all dressed up, short skirts, just the right amount of make-up, semi-exposed boobs, CFM's, the whole deal. Now, 75% of the girls look like this. What the fuck? I mean do ya just walk up and say "Uh..excuse me, are you a hooker? What a fuckin letdown. You don't even see the 'economy' hookers on the street and thats because the streets are so fuckin packed with people they'd be shoved off their corner and into the traffic.

One thing Vegas does have along the strip is about 2000 illegals handing out 'business cards' with phone numbers of 'Girls Direct To You!' Yeah, thats what I would want, hookers that come with the recommendation of a very sweaty 'Emilio'.

I used to gamble some.........well, actually a little more than 'some'...okay, fuck it, I used to gamble like the proverbial drunken sailor, you name it; cards, dice, football, baseball, fuck, I'd bet on practically anything.....except fuckin basketball. But, I mean I am in LasFuckinVegas and there is some gambling influence around here so, I figured, time to show these mfer's a thing or two. I have a rule (well, used too), only play if the dealer is American because you'll get caught in some 'Soreee..no unstan yu'' bullshit if they aren't, and that can cost you $$. That rules out the fuckin window because 99% of the casino gaming employee's are fucking Oriental and they either can't speak English worth a fuck or they pretend they can't.....either way, you're fucked.

I find a blackjack table with the most American-looking Oriental girl I can find. I always try to sit just to the right of the dealer because 80% of the fucks you play with at the same table don't know a fuckin thing about the game except if they get 21, they win. These fuckers can cost you a ton of money because they take cards when they shouldn't or don't when they should. Anyway, I couldn't get my preferred seat at this table but I could tell the 2 guys playing knew their shit. I sit in, within 20 minutes, I'm up close to $300. We're kicking Tokyo Rose's ass. Now, we're all doin' the 'head nod' thing to each other whenever one of us really plays the shit out of our hands....we're 'big time' and cool ya know ;) Another 20 minutes goes by.....now up almost $700, we can't fucking lose and we're all betting like it. THEN, a fucking intruder shows up. Worse yet, he introduces himself to us..do we really look like we give a flying fuck? We've been playing for almost an hour and haven't said a fuckin word to each other and now we're forced to become buddies with this JO....oh well, hopefully he 'can play'. So much for fucking hope..this motherfucker, oh..yeah, 'Dan from Wisconsin'....can't play for shit. He has no fucking clue...even the dealer asks him once "Are you sure?" I mean if the fucking dealer asks you that don't you think maybe, just fucking maybe, that whatever it is that you're contemplating is just fucking WRONG???? After one of the hands he fucked up (one of many) which also caused us to lose, one of the the other players looks at 'Dan from Wisconsin' and says "You ever played this game before?" to which 'Dan' replies, "I can't help if I get bad cards" to which I reply "You've cost me personally over $400 in the short time you've been here, can you 'learn' at another table?" The dealer is not saying a word because she thinks he's a dumbfuck too. 'Dan' gets his feelings hurt and leaves but its too fucking late. We all get shit cards for the next 10-15 hands. It's all I can do to break even. Then I have a thought............what if 'Dan from Wisconsin' was really 'Silvio from the Casino' sent in to break the streak we were all on? Nah.....this is Vegas, they wouldn't do that.

Vegas Recap and Back to Work Blues Too (Part 1 ;)

1st of all........LMAO @ "stepmother who rides a mother fucking broom" Good to have you back, J-Fab :)

Elle......Hope you're feeling better! I know it's of little solace when you're told things have a way of working themselves out, but they do, honey :)

Alright, here we go......Surprisingly, the plane left on time and I had no 'seat kicker' sitting behind me or a crying baby within 30 rows. Flight was very uneventful, which is how I prefer.

By the time we arrived at the hotel, I was already down $45 (tips for all the fuckin baggage handlers and the airport shuttle to the hotel). We stayed at he Luxor, not the 'glitziest', which is hard to believe when the hotel is shaped like a glass pyramid and the entrance has a fuckin Sphinx you walk-through the size of two 747's. If the flight was uneventful, getting a fucking room wasn't. I guess checking in on a Friday wasn't the smartest fuckin thing I've ever arranged, besides LV in mid-July.

There's probably 75 people ahead of me in the 'check-in' line. I'm thinking, 'WTF?', they have maybe 25 'stations' but half of those have signs that say 'Window Closed'. 'Window Closed'????? Motherfuck.....how many fuckin people have to be backed up BEFORE they open up the rest? Finally, after 30 minutes or so, my turn. I get 'waved' by possibly the gayest guy I have ever encountered. He's wearin fuckin eyeliner....WTF???....and his name tag says 'Gui'...GUI???? Is it 'Guy...Gwee'...Gee'? Maybe it's French for 'Gay'..who the fuck knows? Our interaction went like this:

Me: Reservation for Efen. Two adjoining rooms.
Gui: Ok, uh...I have them, BUT they aren't adjoining, BUT they are all the same floor.
Me: That's not how I reserved them.
Gui: Sir, we're full.
Me: (now getting 'slightly' irritated) You weren't full when I booked it and it's not going to be my problem. You have two choices, either fix it or get me your 'superior'. (I love to use that 'superior' line because it lets the prick know in just how little regard I hold him)
Gui: (after giving me that 'I can't believe how unreasonable you're being' look) I'll be right back.

'Right back' evidently means 'I'll make this jackoff wait for 15 minutes before giving in'. Who do these fucking people think they're screwing with? Even the other desk employee's were looking around like 'where the fuck did he go'? I have now elevated from 'slightly irritated' to 90% full-blown Efen. There's a guy (not to be confused with Gui) who I guessed was in-charge of the front desk as he pretty much walks from one end of Registration to the other and back. He makes the mistake of making eye-contact' with me. "Sir...have you been helped?" "I was but right in the middle he went on break". He says 'Went on break?". I turn to the desk girl that was sitting next to him and said "Didn't he leave about 15 minutes ago?" She didn't want to 'drop a dime' on her co-worker but she knew she had no out as I was giving her that 'if you fuckin lie for that SOB I'll come over this counter' look..She said "well, probably". So, the HMFIC takes off and within 20 seconds he was back with Gui in tow (who looked liked he had been told that the LOGO network had been changed to 'John Wayne Movie Network').

Gui: Ok, Mr. Efen, it's all been taken care.
Me: Did we really have to do all this song and dance first?
Gui: (No reply)

The bellman shows ups and off we go. Now, for those of you who are not familiar with the size of these places, they are huge, really, really, fucking huge. We walk and walk, get to the east elevator and go up 12 floors. Down to the room(s) where finally, I'm thinking anyway, I can just plop down for a few minutes and relax. Hmmm...whats that little red sign I see on the door with a cigarette and a diagonal line thru it? MOTHERFUCK......after all that bullshit that little french looking prick has won afterall, he put us in No Smoking rooms. I tell the bellman that this aint going to fuckin work. He gets on the phone, calls the front desk and we wait. 10 minutes goes by and they call the bellman saying they have us different rooms, just had to go down to the 4th floor. Off we go again. Get to the rooms, so far so good, that is until the bellman pulls open the drapes. We have that famous view that everyone goes to Vegas to see.....all the fucking air conditioning units that cool this fuckin place.....right out our fucking windows.
I have only the bellman to thank for me not going back downstairs for a little 'one on one' time with Gui. He got back on the phone and told the front desk to do something and do it now. We took off again, but this time we had to go to the 'west tower'. Down we went, back thru the casino, to the other side of the hotel. Fuck, I am tired, hungry, and maybe a little bit on edge at this point. Up to the 6th floor and into the room(s). Bellman opens the drapes.......Oh my...we overlook the pool(s). Thank him profusely, give him a $20 and pull up a chair to the window ;) Maybe this will be ok after all!

My (Possible) Itinerary

Ok, more than likely my last post for a few days UNLESS something really; Funny, aggravating, mildly-amusing, or just plain fucked-up occurs ('my money' is on the latter..uh, get the Vegas connection there...LMAO...Elle, was I always so damn funny??? Well, huh, was I? ;)

Plane leaves at 12:20 tomorrow and if all goes as scheduled (yeah...likely) should be touching down in Las Vegas at 1:50 (For those of you reading this and trying to figure out how 'time goes backwards', well..get the fuck off of this site. I've spent my whole life having to deal with dumbfucks as yourself and I won't deal with you on MY SITE!) Ok....I think they're gone.

Last check, Vegas will be a light and breezy 108 BUT there's a cool front on the way that is supposed to drive down the temperature to 104. TG for that!

Daughter has informed that her 'peak' tannning hours are between 1:00 - 4:00 which is her way of telling me that she won't be getting up early to enjoy the Nevada sun. In fact, she's at the 'electric beach' (hehe..stole that from Elle ;) as I type this. Nevermind the fact that it's 96 fuckin degrees here today and not a cloud in the sky between here and Canada, she needs to do the whole 'pay for tan' routine. Oh yeah, she's already tan too. She's supposed to work for me until 3:00 but 'she had soooooooooo much to do and was running out of time to get it all done' so I told her to leave at 1:00. I guess it's really my fault as I only told her 4 weeks ago about the trip and who can get all their shit together in such a short time frame?

More to follow....hmmmm...think J-Fab will wonder where the fuck Efen is?? (Uh...you laughin Elle? ;)

Efen's History Class

(This isn't a funny post or one of my infamous 'rants'......just interesting to me)

I'm sure I'll be scoffed at by most of you for my Mid-West ignorance but I learned something the other night that was news to me.

I was watching the 'History Channel' and they had show called 'The Battle of Blair Mountain'. Evidently, this was the largest civil uprising since the Civil War and occurred in southwestern West Virginia. As I'm sure that 99% of my 'readers' know, the conflict began when coal miners were attempting to unionize and the coal companies were doing everything in their power to stop it. A very interesting show.

I also learned that this is where the term 'redneck' originated. This came from the red bandanna's that the miners wore around their necks. For some reason I had figured this term came out of the 'deeper' south (geographically speaking).

I guess there's no reason for me to expound on the Hatfield-McCoy feud. Again, I thought this was in Tennessee or Kentucky. Sorry for not giving WV its 'props'.

Next on The History Channel: The USA Saves Belgium's Ass From The Germans in WWII and They Re-Pay Us By Buying The Largest Brewery in America (a personal vendetta)

A Walk Down Memory Lane

(Elle.....did I hear your gasping?.......LOL..J/K)

All of these 'subtle' reminders that there are those of you on vacation, or 'vacay' if you prefer (and I happen not to) has me looking forward to this coming Friday. Thats when I leave for Las Vegas (PLEASE..if you're so kind to comment here, PLEASE do not call it 'Lost Wages, mainly because, while there may be some truth to that, I fucking hate that phrase...don't know why, just do).

Haven't been to LV in damn near 30 years and yes, I have heard it has changed. Now 30 years ago, 'someone' told me that hookers (I prefer 'escorts' btw ) had a 'going rate' of $100. Uh, I didn't ask if that was an hour or a night but geez...$100 thirty years ago was a lot of money (was going to say 'a lot of 'fuckin' money but didn't want to go for the cheap laugh). I have no idea what that brings it to in todays world. I mean on those Law & Order shows (my favorites) they always have a hooker who gets whacked and they refer to her as "$1000/night pro". WTF....a grand for one freakin night?? Really..is that for real?? If any of you have any friends (or family members) that can fill me in on this, please do. And, its not because I want to see how many pounds of aluminum cans I need to collect between now and Friday (uh...that would be 1076#), I'm just wondering.

That last trip there was like a dream. Two of my Chicago buddies met me out there. Real funny guys, real Italian guys. One's family was in the wine business, the other's Dad had something to with the Union. Anyway, I reaped the benefits from their families 'knowing people'. Back in the day, the Stardust and The Riviera were the places to stay. We stayed 5 nights, 2 in a suite at the Stardust, 3 in a hufuckinmongous penthouse deal at the Riviera (we were cool..we called it 'The Riv'). The best part here, besides the obvious, was that none of those nights cost us one fuckin cent! The rooms were 'comps' as well as some of the meals. The waiter or maitre'd would simply come up to the table and say "Its all been taken care of". Man, I felt like I was in a movie. My buddies would just look at me and laugh. Though they did say "My Dad said if we fuck up and cause any fuckin problems, we have all had it". Never quite sure what 'all had it' meant but I was fairly certain since I wasn't one of their kids I would probably 'have it' more so than them.

One guy had a real penchant for hookers (weren't call escorts back then so :~ )We knew this because he told us about a thousand times. One night my buddy and I came back to the room, about 3:00 AM or so, and we met him leaving the room with 'Darla'. Maybe 20 minutes or so later, he's back. This time with 'April'. I remember these gals like it was yesterday. 'April' was really a pretty and intelligent girl...oh, that and she had huge boobs. Said she was from Dallas but who knows. I've read where hookers don't always tell you the truth. By the time we left, I know the guy had 7 or 8 'dates'. He won close to $900 playing roulette and I guess he figured they really didn't cost him anything. Oh, and thats where I saw my 1st and only pregnant hooker. Outside on a corner, across from a Denny's. She was offering a '3 for 1' special, we passed but I did see 'that look' in my one buddy's eyes.

Lots of funny shit happened in those 5+ days. We were in a taxi going who the fuck remembers where when all of a sudden, the cabbie yells out one of my friends name. Turns out they went to high school together in Chicago. Think about that..pretty fuckin wierd. He went out there to be a dealer, lasted about a month. Said he fucked up too many times dealing blackjack but he liked it there and he was staying. We laughed our asses off about that too, as did he. Great fucking time. Why do I feel like this trip is going to be soooooooo different?