Vegas Recap and Back to Work Blues Too (Part 1 ;)

1st of all........LMAO @ "stepmother who rides a mother fucking broom" Good to have you back, J-Fab :)

Elle......Hope you're feeling better! I know it's of little solace when you're told things have a way of working themselves out, but they do, honey :)

Alright, here we go......Surprisingly, the plane left on time and I had no 'seat kicker' sitting behind me or a crying baby within 30 rows. Flight was very uneventful, which is how I prefer.

By the time we arrived at the hotel, I was already down $45 (tips for all the fuckin baggage handlers and the airport shuttle to the hotel). We stayed at he Luxor, not the 'glitziest', which is hard to believe when the hotel is shaped like a glass pyramid and the entrance has a fuckin Sphinx you walk-through the size of two 747's. If the flight was uneventful, getting a fucking room wasn't. I guess checking in on a Friday wasn't the smartest fuckin thing I've ever arranged, besides LV in mid-July.

There's probably 75 people ahead of me in the 'check-in' line. I'm thinking, 'WTF?', they have maybe 25 'stations' but half of those have signs that say 'Window Closed'. 'Window Closed'????? Motherfuck.....how many fuckin people have to be backed up BEFORE they open up the rest? Finally, after 30 minutes or so, my turn. I get 'waved' by possibly the gayest guy I have ever encountered. He's wearin fuckin eyeliner....WTF???....and his name tag says 'Gui'...GUI???? Is it 'Guy...Gwee'...Gee'? Maybe it's French for 'Gay'..who the fuck knows? Our interaction went like this:

Me: Reservation for Efen. Two adjoining rooms.
Gui: Ok, uh...I have them, BUT they aren't adjoining, BUT they are all the same floor.
Me: That's not how I reserved them.
Gui: Sir, we're full.
Me: (now getting 'slightly' irritated) You weren't full when I booked it and it's not going to be my problem. You have two choices, either fix it or get me your 'superior'. (I love to use that 'superior' line because it lets the prick know in just how little regard I hold him)
Gui: (after giving me that 'I can't believe how unreasonable you're being' look) I'll be right back.

'Right back' evidently means 'I'll make this jackoff wait for 15 minutes before giving in'. Who do these fucking people think they're screwing with? Even the other desk employee's were looking around like 'where the fuck did he go'? I have now elevated from 'slightly irritated' to 90% full-blown Efen. There's a guy (not to be confused with Gui) who I guessed was in-charge of the front desk as he pretty much walks from one end of Registration to the other and back. He makes the mistake of making eye-contact' with me. "Sir...have you been helped?" "I was but right in the middle he went on break". He says 'Went on break?". I turn to the desk girl that was sitting next to him and said "Didn't he leave about 15 minutes ago?" She didn't want to 'drop a dime' on her co-worker but she knew she had no out as I was giving her that 'if you fuckin lie for that SOB I'll come over this counter' look..She said "well, probably". So, the HMFIC takes off and within 20 seconds he was back with Gui in tow (who looked liked he had been told that the LOGO network had been changed to 'John Wayne Movie Network').

Gui: Ok, Mr. Efen, it's all been taken care.
Me: Did we really have to do all this song and dance first?
Gui: (No reply)

The bellman shows ups and off we go. Now, for those of you who are not familiar with the size of these places, they are huge, really, really, fucking huge. We walk and walk, get to the east elevator and go up 12 floors. Down to the room(s) where finally, I'm thinking anyway, I can just plop down for a few minutes and relax. Hmmm...whats that little red sign I see on the door with a cigarette and a diagonal line thru it? MOTHERFUCK......after all that bullshit that little french looking prick has won afterall, he put us in No Smoking rooms. I tell the bellman that this aint going to fuckin work. He gets on the phone, calls the front desk and we wait. 10 minutes goes by and they call the bellman saying they have us different rooms, just had to go down to the 4th floor. Off we go again. Get to the rooms, so far so good, that is until the bellman pulls open the drapes. We have that famous view that everyone goes to Vegas to see.....all the fucking air conditioning units that cool this fuckin place.....right out our fucking windows.
I have only the bellman to thank for me not going back downstairs for a little 'one on one' time with Gui. He got back on the phone and told the front desk to do something and do it now. We took off again, but this time we had to go to the 'west tower'. Down we went, back thru the casino, to the other side of the hotel. Fuck, I am tired, hungry, and maybe a little bit on edge at this point. Up to the 6th floor and into the room(s). Bellman opens the drapes.......Oh my...we overlook the pool(s). Thank him profusely, give him a $20 and pull up a chair to the window ;) Maybe this will be ok after all!