That was my immediate reaction when I read an invitation that came in the mail yesterday. It was a Bridal Shower invitation and guess fuckin what...........it was sent to both me and my wife. It 'promised' an afternoon/evening of fun and games. Ok, what the fuck is this world coming to?
It's not my 1st 'Couples' shower invitation. That was when I was Best Man in a wedding and his uppity, crazy as a fucking loon bride thought this would be so 'chic' since 'all the rich folks are doing it'. To put this in the proper perspective, this is the same girl, who on the day of her Wedding, took a shower (a real one) with her brother. That is the honest fucking truth.....which she didn't mind telling, much to the chagrin of her husband. Uh....can you even imagine the fucking mileage I got out of that? Fuck..crazy people, they're fucking everywhere. Oh, sorry, got off track....When that fuckin invitation came, I immediately called the 'groom' and said "What the fuck.....are you going along with this fucking nonsense? He, being the fuckin balless wonder that I knew deep down he was, said "Well, it may be fun. We'll have beer". OK, why didn't you say that in the 1st place? Thats totally fuckin different then.................WTF????? Thats like the fucker who asks you if you can help him move and he says "I'll buy the beer". Since when did beer become as pricey as say a Cartier diamond bracelet? Fuck that, move your own shit and I'll buy my own $7.00 6-pack!
I don't care if they bring half barrels and hand everyone their very own beer spigot: Men do not belong at bridal showers and baby showers. Period. Showers are for women to gather and give out frilly, girly-like presents and talk about gowns and flower arrangements and shit like that. This new notion that men are obliged to attend showers is yet another sign of our society's ill-advised fucking march toward parity in all things. Men don't expect women to sit through a noon-to-midnight Sunday football marathon, or to quote lines from "Caddyshack." That's our job and we're fuckin proud of it.
Yeah, I attended that 1st Bridal Shower and I am proud to say, I got so fucking wasted that I embarrassed anyone that knew me and that was pretty much everyone there. The only things I really remember is Vodka and boobs. The boobs belonged to one of the Bridesmaids...and evidently to me as well. Well fuck, she kept pressin them into me while we danced (yes...dancing at a shower) so, I kinda accidentally touched them. Now I know you're thinking "Geez....whatta fuckin perv, but NO, it wasn't like that at all. Ya see, she was as wasted as me and started grabbing me 'down below'...so, we kinda evened things out there. She wasn't pissed and I certainly wasn't...uh...really can't say the same for her boyfriend or my girlfriend. Just what the fuck do you expect when you invite guys to a shower of any fucking kind? Fuck, the 'bride' got what the fuck she deserved, in my opinion.
Am I going to this shower (daughter of a high-school friend)..............I fuckin think not. I mean, I'm older now and supposedly wiser....wouldn't look good fondling one of the bridesmaids boobs.
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3 comments:
Efen...um, you said this was the child of a friend from school, right?
a.) do they REALLY know you? I mean, the "now" Efen? 'Cause maybe you were all sweet and mild mannered and shit when you were in school or something.
and 2.) WTF? Send a gift and stay home. Efen style!
Oh, I'm so sorry. And I agree.
I agree. Showers are "women only" functions. And even at that, it's painful humiliation. All those games! I'd rather attend a fraternity hazing and have to duck walk the length of a gym with a grape in my ass cheeks.
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