Wednesday, February 3, 2010

When it rains....it fucking pours!


Fuck me...I am so tired of posting negative shit. I long for the good ol' days when I could just rant about shit that pissed me off, but really didn't have that big of a direct effect on me. Evifuckindently those days are over...or at least on some sort of semi-permanent hiatus.

As some of you know, Mother is in a Nursing Home. I think she has finally accepted that as she has quit correcting people by saying 'Rehab Center' when they let the 'N word' slip.

I know she doesn't like it. Fuck...I fuckin hate it, the fact that she's in there along with the place itself. I am so sick and tired of hearing "I'm sorry, I thought 'she, they, them, her', etc were going to do what you had asked". Along with 50% of them acting like they're put out when you ask them to actually do their fucking job.


As you may have gathered, I have developed quite a 'Fan Club' within the Nursing Home Society...from the Nurses, to the Aides, to the Social Workers, all the way up to the Administrator himself. And to that I say.......... "Fuck each and everyone of you"...specifically those that I have had 'issues' with.

I'm not even going to get into the daily failures of those not doing their respective jobs. I have actually been beaten down to where I now expect half-ass performances and attitudes..not only 'expect', but now view it as 'thats how it is'......that is until you surpass even my lowly expectations. And...that is what transpired yesterday.

I had a scheduled meeting (called by the NH) to 'discuss' the 'Care Program' for my Mother. Believe me, I was so fuckin ready for this. Armed with a copious amount of 'notes', I was going to turn this into a 'You Don't Care Program' discussion. That is, until I stopped in to see Mother first. There she sat, with her legs, hands, and arms badly swollen, obviously having difficulty breathing, and so weak she barely spoke above a whisper. I had been there the night before and while she was 'alittle' swollen, all in all she seemed pretty good. She tells me she doesn't feel very good and really doesn't feel like talking much. I tell her I'll be right back and make a fuckin beeline for the Nurses Station.

Me (after spying the Nurse Supervisor): Has anyone noticed that my Mother is in full Congestive Heart Failure?

NS: Well, yes, we had noticed she was 'alittle' swollen so we have a call into the Doctor for some medicine.

Me: Really? You have a call into the Dr? And just when did you place this call?

NS: Let me check..oh, there it is...at 9:15 this morning.

Me: Are you serious? That was almost 6 fuckin hours ago! What if he never calls back, you just gonna tell me, after my Mother dies, that the Dr. never called you back? You gawdamn people are pathetic! Blame anyone but yourself..unfreakinbelieveable. You get on that GD phone and get an ambulance here and have her taken to the hospital, right freakin now.

NS: Uh..yessir.

I go in and tell Mother that she's headed to the ER and she tells me whatever I think is best. 30 minutes later the EMT's show up with one of them obviously frustrated that people don't recognize him for whom he really is...... Ben Casey, MD. This fuck starts asking me 'why?' as in "why do you think she's in CHF? Why do you think she's having trouble breathing? Is because she's swollen the only thing you're going on?" "what do you expect them to do in the hospital?"I turn to him and say "I don't have time for your fucking questions. Get her on that stretcher and get her to the hospital NOW".

We get to the ER (I have been there so much in the last 6 months I pretty well know most of them by name) and they get her right in. They do the X-rays, EKG, etc and its not long until the ER Doc comes in. He tells me its 'pretty serious' and its a good thing I got her there when I did. He then proceeds to tell me that her CHF is very bad, so bad that while they think she has pneumonia, due to the fluid in her lungs, they can't be certain..But, they're going to treat her as if she does, just to cover all bases. 6 hours later she's admitted and moved to her room. Actually, I thought 6 hours wasn't bad. One time it took 9 hours but they do do stuff pretty much the whole time and I realize it takes time to get some of the test results back.

She's better today. They have reduced the swelling a great deal but their concerned about her heart, so more tests continue. Later on today I'm going to a different NH and I'm going to 'interview' them. At least now I know what questions to ask. I pity the person who has to go through this, especially when you don't know what to look for and you place your trust in a total fucking stranger. That will never happen again....believe me.

11 comments:

The Dish said...

Efen, I am sorry. I am glad you got her to the hospital. I know first hand how unfair and scary CHF is. Just make sure they keep her comfortable. And if you have to stay on some asses and be a pain, do it!

I am thinking of you.

Warped Mind of Ron said...

Man I'm so sorry and hope your Mother is feeling much better. I would be so pissed that I would be in the ER getting checked for a heart attack at the same time. I agree get her out of that NH and maybe call a lawyer to give them the reaming. Some places never learn until they get sued or someone dies and that's how incompetent NH are weeded out. (supposedly)

vinomom said...

I seriously have never heard one good thing about Nursing Homes. They are fucking horrible. I'm sure your mom is freaking out and feels lost w/out your dad too. Fire that Nursing Home and call someone official while you're at it! I hope she is on the mend.

Loni's World said...

Horrible! Absolutely horrible!!!
OMG I cannot believe that, I am so happy that you NEVER take their word for it. Good for you for doing what you think is right.

If you want to keep her home and have the room look into home nurses if you can, at least then you know shes being looked after.

Hugs to you and your family :)

GiGi said...

Sorry about the a-holes at the nursing home. Keeping your mom in my prayers. Thank goodness you are keeping an eye on the care she receives, unlike so many elderly people in the same position with no one who cares enough to advocate for them.

Texas Gator Girl said...

Oh Efen. I am so sorry to hear about your mother. Thank Goodness that she has such a wonderful son to take such good care of her! Get her outta that NH for sure - & find one that actually takes care of it's residents! xoxo honey.

Elle said...

Jesus Christ, honey -- I'm so sorry. I'm glad she's feeling better today.

I know you're stressed out -- but I hope you fuckin' "Efenize" that nursing home til it's a pile of smoldering ashes!

Love you

Evil Twin's Wife said...

My mom was also in a NH at the end of her days. It was horrible. I was there 3 or so times a day and witnessed her getting very good care...I just had to hope when I wasn't there, it was the same way. There ARE some good ones around - you might want to look into a hospice program. But, that is only an option if her condition is terminal (sorry to say), but the Hospice here is really great. My mom refused to go there b/c she wanted to be at the home closest to my house.

YO Adrienne said...

Efen, I am so sorry to hear about your mom. I'm also sorry that I have sucked as a blog reader lately and haven't been up to date as to what has been going on.
How is your mom doing? Do they have her on Lasix? How is her swelling? Lung sounds?

I hope you're able to find a better NH for your mom. I can't imagine your frustration right now. I will be sending positive thoughts your way.
Adrienne

The Girl said...

Oh Efen, I'm so sorry. Kudos for not killing anyone. I hope your Mom continues to improve and feel better. You hang in there !

Efen said...

Dish: Thanks, dear :)

Ron: "Pissed' wasn't really the word. I appreciate your words..ty

Vinomom: I know.....maybe they should still use the term 'Old Folks Home". I know Mother is going though alot and having the fear of whats going to happen to you is tragic.

Loni: If she was 'mobile', then she having her at my house would be the answer...sadly, she isn't.

GiGi: You're so right. I've seen many people there that don't seem to have a soul looking out for them. It is extremely sad. I appreciate your thoughts.

TGG: I'm trying....pretty sure I have found one that, on the surface, looks alot better. Altho, as I told my Mother, unless you have more of a positive attitude (and I realize thats not easy) then you'll be miserable wherever you are. XOXO back :)

Elle: Ya know...I'm damn worn out and its becoming harder and harder to be 'myself', at least to the level I'm accustomed ;) Thanks, honey..love you more ;)

ETW: Mother isn't 'terminal', it just seems there's always something else to deal with and soon she won't be able to cope with much more, I'm afraid.

YO Adrienne: Oh yeah, she's been on increased dosages of lasik and as of yesterday, it appears she's 'out of the woods' and going to be ok. Pneumonia in older people, they say, is viewed as serious has a heart attack. There is still fluid in her lungs but that may be part of her chronic lung condition. Still awaiting test results. Thanks for your thoughts :)

The Girl: Well...I haven't killed anyone YET (or lately either). Thanks sweetie.