Monday, February 23, 2009

Let the demolition begin

Today the demolishing of the bathroom commences. Hmmmm.......I sure as fuck hope this thing turns out the way my minds-eye says it's supposed to.

The biggest pain-in-the-ass about this is that the MBR closet (which is located off the bath) is also going to be partially torn down so it can be enlarged. So, all the shit thats packed in there has to be 're-located' other spaces that are already full of clothes and shoes (not mine). Ok....lets see...where do you put 56 pair of shoes (not counting my 4 pair)?? I said 'Fuck..they're in see-thru plastic boxes (wtf??), why do we even need to move them? They're not going to get drywall dust on them cuz as I said, they're in those fucking boxes. EVIDENTLY.....the boxes WILL get all the dust on them so we sure as fuck can't have that. making umpteen fucking trips carrying shoes that I know (I think I know) haven't been worn in years downstairs to hook-up with all the other fuckin pairs of shoes that are already in the basement...and those I do know haven't been worn since Carter was president.

I take it back....the real pain-in-the-ass is that now we're sharing the 'guest' bath (I find that term funny cuz I prefer not to have 'guests )...which in reality is my daughters bathroom, that is when she can find the time to visit 'Dad' ;)

I hate 'sharing'...............seriously, especially a bathroom. Now, if one would just get in and get the fuck out, no problem. But for some reason, while I can get get ready in 20 minutes and be done, it takes my wife a fucking minimum of 2 hours...WTF?? Before Demolition (BD)....this wasn't a problem because we could both be in there, her on her side, me on mine. If she took 4 hours...not my fucking problem. But now....this is going to be serious. I operate on a 'strict' schedule. I'm in the bathroom at a specific time and out the door to work at a specific time. I do not handle 'change' very well and I am not one fucking bit flexible regarding these things.....I guess thats part of my overall 'charm' ;)

So, tomorrow will be the 1st experience with the 'sharing' deal. I offered a very reasonable solution last night. Instead of her getting in the bathroom at 5:00 AM, I suggested maybe 4:00 AM would suit my needs better. Hmmm......guess my use of the "F-word" has a way of rubbing off on others.

I'll post some pics of how this 'project' is progressing as time goes on.

Friday, February 20, 2009

MORE Motivational Pictures

This is pretty much the rest of the one's I received (except for a couple that I thought some may find 'objectionable' ;) Enjoy......

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Motivational Pics

Ok...I must admit, I'm a sucker for these. Of all the shit I get sent to me, these types are my favorites (uh...other than porn ;) Here are some of the newer one's I have received. I hope you find some humor in these as well :)

Friday, February 13, 2009

Friday the 13th...yep, pretty well sums it up

Not a good day to be fucking with me at work. I'm in a real 'firing mood' at the moment. I don't feel great..nothing real bad but my ears are stopped up. WTF is up with that??? Am I 8??? Even the sound of the phone ringing makes my ears 'vibrate' to a point where I want to fucking scream. Geez.....of all the fucking things.

I'm serious on that 'firing thing'. Fucking your GD job and quit making excuses..or even worse, just standing there and giving me that 'You must be speaking Chinese because I have no idea what you're sayin' look....FUCK!

And.....if you haven't heard, the 'job market' is pretty tough at the moment so do you really want to go down THAT fucking road?

Plus...a fucking customer called me this morning complaining that I hadn't called him back regarding helping him with the layout of the new equipment he bought from us. He then tried to be 'funny' by saying "You must be real busy" which I replied "No....I'm not busy at all...but until you PAY for what you bought (25 days Past Due in the amount of $31K), I can't help you. Then he has the fucking balls to say 'Thats not very good Customer Service'....AARGH!!! I won't even go into my reply....I'm sure you can guess......check should be 'hand delivered' today.

Here's a "WTF?" I hear on the radio today that the number 1 'search' on Google in the past 10 days is 'When is Valentine's Day?'. Is this like a new thing or something??

Here's another: "An Arizona man who has waged a 10-year campaign to stop a flood of illegal immigrants from crossing his property is being sued by 16 Mexican nationals who accuse him of conspiring to violate their civil rights when he stopped them at gunpoint on his ranch on the U.S.-Mexico border. Roger Barnett, 64, began rounding up illegal immigrants in 1998 and turning them over to the U.S. Border Patrol, he said, after they destroyed his property, killed his calves and broke into his home. His Cross Rail Ranch near Douglas, Ariz., is known by federal and county law enforcement authorities as "the avenue of choice" for immigrants seeking to enter the United States illegally". Gimme a fucking break............

Thats all I got...for now. Hopefully my fuckin mood improves some point.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Seeing Red...all fuckin shades of it

I don't normally post on back-to-back days.....BUT.....something happened today that could have easily ended with me in cuffs. Please bear with me here as I'm sure this will be longer than normal.

Yesterday my daughter told me that one of her eyes that had been bothering her wasn't getting any better. This, evidently, started the day after she had an eye exam by an optometrist. I had told her to go back to him and have it checked out, which she did. Three days later, still no change.

I told her I would set up an appointment with an Opthamologist, just in case she needed a Rx or something. I set it up for 11:15 today since her first class wasn't until 1:00.

About Noon, my cell rings and its my daughter. I figure she's calling with the results of her Eye Drs. appt.

Thats what I thought...but all I could make out was her crying...super upset. Obviously my first thought was "Geezus.....what in the world could the Dr. have found?" Finally, after she calmed down (some) I was able to make out the following:

MD: Dad..he was so mean and rude. All he did was criticize me for not coming to him 1st. Whenever I asked a question he would look at me and roll his eyes. If he did answer it was only after he interrupted me, then he'd say 'I have no idea what that question meant...can you re-phrase so I can possibly understand?'...(more crying)

Me: Calm down honey...did he say anything else?

MD: I started to get upset and there were tears in my eyes and he said ' both of your eyes are watering'. I just got up, said I'm finished and left. Dad..I've never had anyone be like that to me, especially a doctor....I was so mad!

Me: Thats okay, honey. Uh...did he at least tell you what was wrong?

MD: He said he didn't know for sure but to keep ice on it for 2 days and if that didn't help to fill the Rx he gave me.

Me: Ok, Ok, don't worry about it...I'll take care of it.

You can fuck with me all you want. I can take it because I know, sooner or later, I'm gonna fuck you worse. BUT...fuck with my daughter and make her cry, well then motherfucker, you had better be prepared for the fuckin wrath I'm gonna bring down on you....and I don't give one fuck if you're the biggest bad-ass motherfucker around cuz NOBODY makes my little girl cry without consequences.

I did have one small logistical problem. It's now 12:15 and I'm picking my Dad up at 1:00 to take him to see a kidney doctor....and I'm 30 minutes away. No time to drive to this prick Dr's office so I call him. He's with a patient so I leave my cell number. 5 minutes later he calls me back.

In this time span I have gone from a '10' on the anger scale to maybe an '8'. I tell myself, even though I know my daughter is polite, not a smart-ass (except to me ;), and is respectful, I should hear his side first. So, I'm kind of willing to be 'somewhat' openminded.

Dr.: (In a bored and 'why are you bothering me tone' ) I had a message to call you?

Me: (I explain who I am) I would like to know why you made my daughter cry?

Dr. I don't know what you mean.

Me: You don't know? Did you see her upset? Did she cry in your office?

Dr. Well.....guess that depends on your definition of crying. She was ok when she left.


Dr. I guess....but I didn't say anything to her.

Me: So, you're telling me she just got upset 'out of the blue'? Listen, she aint 10, she's 22, she knows when someone is being a hateful prick to her...AND....I don't think you're quite gettin it....thats MY DAUGHTER you made cry. Of all the things you could do to make me as mad as I picked the right one! If I wasn't so far away I'd be there for a little face-to-face with you.


Me: A threat? No..not a threat..thats a fact....but if you think it is..I don't give a shit. coming up is where I practically drive off the fucking road I'm so mad....seriously..its all I can do to stay in my lane.

Dr: Where are you?

Me: What?? Excuse me???

Dr: Where are you right far away are you?


The line goes quiet...I'm thinkin the pussy jackoff has hung up...then I hear "Uh...what would like me to do?" WTF????? He goes from challenging me to this? I say "I want you to call my daughter...and apologize, and sound like you mean it because she'll know if you don't. I'm gonna wait 10 minutes, then I'm gonna call her and I swear if she tells me your call went any different than I think it should have.....buddy, you and I are going to And another perform a service and we pay you for that service. In fact, your no different than the guy I call to fix my washer...he performs a service and I pay him. If I don't like his service and it ends up causing me more problems than I had...then I won't pay him. So, just like with him, I want you to cancel that bill".

He kinda mumbled so I don't know if he will or not. Frankly, I don't give a fuck...I just wanted to say that to him.

I call my daughter and she's better, not great but not all upset either. She tells me he did apologize but she wasn't sure how sincere he was. I told her it didn't matter, what mattered was that he was held accountable and part of that accountability was calling and saying he was sorry.

She then asked...."Uh Dad...what did you say to him?' I tell her it wasn't important. She says "It would make me feel better if I knew what you said". So.....I told her, sans most of my cuss words, but I know there was no doubt to her what I actually said. And you know what....she laughed and said "Thanks, Dad...I do feel better now".

Uh...also told MY Dad what happened..he just looked at me and said 'You don't make someones daughter cry" Thats me....a chip off the old block ;)

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Elle Update (WTF?) I like her fuckin administrative assistant or sumthin? Evidently, the 'princess' is too fuckin busy to post her own shit so I've been 'anointed' to see that task gets accomplished.

(Kaaaaaaaaaay.... pretend I'm Elle....and, I may have paraphrased some ;)

"Aack! Hand lotion! Get me some hand lotion!" I've been working my ever-so petite fingers to the proverbial bone (shut up, Efen). As you may recall, my MIT was here from out west somewhere (I forget where exactly because I don't 'do west'). So, that kept me extremely busy because entertaining was part of my duties as well. She was very nice and all, shapely and attractive too. One night we had maybe 8 Grey Goose shots and she started getting all 'Oh're so hot...I love the way your ample breasts strain against that silk top..uh...EFEN!!! Stop!!! (Sorry...difficult to write as anyone 'cept myself;)

Ok....where were we? Oh I've been very, very busy. I had an audit and I am very pleased to say I passed that with flying colors.

Tomorrow I have a meeting with my immediate boss as well as "The" senior vice president of operations. He's flying in from Atlanta and as I told y'all before, he's the #3 guy in the company, reporting only to the COO (Plus...he's very HOT).

So tomorrow will be filled with 'Oh're doing such a fantabulous job, I don't think we could even exist without you' get the picture, one superlative after another :) I'm sure at some point he's going to offer me the new 'Head Honcho' job, the one I've been so patiently waiting for. But....along with that super-duper title comes the very real aspect that it will involve moving (oops....did I say too much?) Of course I will be all 'Thats no problem...I'll do whatever you need me to'. *Sigh*.....I guess thats a bridge to cross for another time.

I have already decided what to wear when I meet with the VP. Now, that in itself was no easy task. 14 different wardrobe changes, 4 different ways of wearing my hair, different make-up, different CFM shoes....I'm going for that 'business hot' look....but theres a very fine line between that and 'business slut', so I need to err on the 'side of grandma' ;)

Wish me luck y'all and I promise, I'll be back posting all of my own stuff very soon (Cuz we all know Efen is going to tire of this and say "Fuck it....not my responsibility"....he's such a baby. I'll have to send him some more pictures or something)

Monday, February 9, 2009

A Sigh of Relief...and other matters

My Dad had his colonoscopy this past Friday...............and from what the Dr. said, even though he has to wait on confirmation from the lab, everything looks good.

I must admit, I was worried and even though Dad won't say, I know he was as well. I could just tell by his demeanor afterwards that he felt like a huge weight was lifted from his shoulders.

Now he has an appointment to see wtf the deal is with his kidneys. So another test is forthcoming. But.............I feel a whole lot better for now.

Weekend was so-so. Spent 1/2 day Saturday fuckin with my computer at home. For some reason, it decides it's 'tired' and just shuts off....then starts back up again. So, I go through all the shit I can think of, read 50 articles on-line regarding others with similar problems, and end up absolutely no fucking further ahead than I was before I started. At least my battery back-up keeps it from going completely down.

Why are people so fucking nosey? Are their lives so fucking boring that they have thrust themselves into the business of others?

Case in point; As most of you know, I go to a place I call 'SV' for lunch every freakin day (including most weekends). There is a group of guys that I have been coming in there for as long as I have. Most of them I like and we share a lot of laughs together. One guy, I used to think was OK. Now I can barely stand him. He's the nosiest fucker I have ever met. Always wanting to know how much a person makes, how much their homes cost, anything to do with one's personal business.

Anyhow, I'm in the process of putting things together to have our master bath totally remodeled. Gutted and completely done over. A couple of weeks ago I mentioned this to a couple of my buddies there and 'Nosey Fat Guy' overhears. One of the things he heard me say was 'heated floor'. You woulda thought I said 'solid gold faucets'. "HEATED FLOOR?....(laughing) ...why in the world would you want that?...I never heard of much does that cost...a couple of thousand?" I just kinda shrugged and hoped he'd let it go.

Since then, thats all I've heard from the Fat Fuck. "I told my wife about your heated floor... she wondered how much you're spending on the bathroom if you're putting in a heated floor..(giggling)"

This finally pissed me off. So I said....."1st off, its none of your fuckin business....nor your wife's. Why are you so concerned about what I do.....or anyone else for that matter? Do you think I give a fuck about what you do? Why don't you just shut the fuck up and mind your own fuckin business for a change?"

The bar got real quiet cuz those that know me knew I wasn't fuckin around....and that I was genuinely pissed. I got up, threw my money on the bar and left. Motherfucker.....he was lucky it wasn't 10 years ago or I would dropped his fat ass right off that bar stool.

Ok....I didn't say this to him because I don't have to justify or account to anyone what the fuck I choose to spend money on. But...since I like y'all :) I will offer this...our bath is fairly large and the floor is tile. I live where it gets cold and believe me, that fuckin tile floor can be like standing on ice at times. So, when I talked to my contractor (a friend) about it, even he thought it was a good idea. He got me a price, including installation and the programmable thermostat....$800.00 Now I didn't think this was bad, especially in the 'grand scheme' of things.

And.....if ya think thats a waste of money.........keep in mind, I 'put my foot down' on the heated towel bars ;)

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Yessir, Officer

Yep, those were my words at approximately 6:40 this fuckin morning.

'Bout 3 miles from my house on a 4-lane state highway, I look up to my left and see him sitting there. I was fucked.......and I knew it. I go this way every day instead of the interstate because its far less crowded and 'normally' speed is not an issue.

The fucked thing is that this road has 3 different speed limits within a mile. 45, 55, and 65. I was on the '45' stretch. I'm not making excuses...I woulda been speeding even if I was on the '55' stretch. Fuck, I speed all the damn time....those 30 MPH speed limits....too me they don't exist. Who the fuck drives 30 fuckin mph anyhow? If you're gonna drive that slow might as well fuckin walk.

Anyhow, I know he's going to be coming out after me, so (besides hittin the brakes), I 'slyly' put on my seatbelt (I know, I know...I don't need any lectures ;) because I didn't want an additional ticket for that. I then move over a lane (signaled, of course;) so it would be easier for the both of us when he turned his lights on. Sure enough, he pulls out after me and hits his lights. Now, I know enough to pull over right afuckin way when this occurs (not my 1st rodeo) BUT...we still have 2 foot of fuckin snow that has been plowed to the shoulder...where the fuck was I supposed to pull over to? I sure wasn't going to stop right in the middle of the fucking road! Up ahead is a big-ass church so I figure I'll drive to that entrance and pull in. Guess this isn't quick enough because now he turns on his fuckin siren. Geezus mf'er...I'm tryin, I'm tryin.....only another 200' to go til the entrance. Lights and siren still fuckin going on. I'm getting this uneasy feeling that this cop is going to start blasting away any fuckin time now...and I can now see there are two of them in there. FUCK!!!

I get to the entrance and pull down into the lot some and stop, while making this big production of taking off my seatbelt. He stops too....only he's still maybe 30' behind me. WTF??? Is he wanting me to back-up? I know not to get out. He's just sitting there. Fuck me....I ain't no fuckin mind reader. If you want me to back up, get on your fuckin speaker and tell me. He doesn't, he just sits there. So, fuck it, with my vehicle still running, I light up a cigarette and turn my radio up.

Finally, maybe 3 minutes have passed, he gets out and walks up. But...he doesn't come directly up to my window. He stops by the left, rear passenger door so I have to turn in my seat to see him...and he's still partially blocked by the door frame. Sheesh...this is getting a little spooky. I mean I aint wearin a cap sideways, I do have 20's but they don't have spinners and the tires aren't those low-profile ones, plus it's 6:40 AM, not 2:30 wtf?

Figuring he's waiting for me to speak, I do:

Me: Yessir, Officer?

Cop: Good know why I pulled you over?

Me: Sure....I was speeding. No doubt about it

Cop: Do you know how fast you were going?

Me: Honestly....I have no idea at all

Cop: Well, I got you at 61 in a 45.

Me: Sounds about right.

Cop: I'll need your license and Proof of Insurance

Me: POI is in my glovebox...I'll need to lean over and open it (much better to let them know of your intentions;)

Cop: You have any weapons in there?

Me: (Yeah...I'm gonna announce I have a loaded 9mm Glock in my glovebox) Uh...nope..just a flashlight.

Cop: No problem...go ahead.

Now he's still standing behind me and there's no fuckin way he can see if there's anything in my glovebox other than what I said. Still.....I opened it slowly and got out the POI.
I hand it to him and he goes back to his car for maybe 10 minutes. My cell starts ringing but no fuckin way am I gonna answer. I don't want to give out a 'nonchalant' vibe cuz I know at least one of them is watching I just hit the 'silent' button.

Finally he walks up, this time directly to my open window and says 'Efen' (What happened to that 'Mr. Efen' protocol?)....I knocked it down from 61 to 55....this way you won't have to go to court. Just call the number after 7 days and they'll tell you how much to send in'. "Cool...I appreciate it and thank you".

I drive off, not happy I got a ticket but thankful the guy wasn't a total prick.

Oh....went through radar AGAIN just before I got to work.....35 Speed Limit...I was goin problem ;)

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

What...Actually Do My Fuckin Job????

As I posted earlier, My Dad has not been feeling good, on a couple of levels. The 1st level; His shoulders had been hurting, especially at night, which would keep him up from about 3:00 AM on. Finally, after much persistence, I got him to go to his Doctor. 'Bursitis' is what he was told....and the Dr. gave him some meds for the pain...thats After a week I ask him how his shoulders feel. "The same....I took a couple of those pills, didn't help any". Then I got him to go to an Ortho Dr. This guy took all kinds of x-rays and determined it was not 'bursitis' but bone spurs in both shoulders. Gave him some meds (not pain meds) and told him to try them for 2 weeks....if they didn't help, they'd go the Cortisone shot route. They did help some in 1 shoulder, but not in the other. So it appears the 'shot' is forthcoming.

The 2nd level is a bigger deal. Got him to go to a 'gastro' doctor who was very thorough with his tests. The Dr. called him Friday night with the test results. Neither of my parents hear very well.....but neither share my opinion on that. So, when my Dad calls me to tell me he has talked to the Dr., naturally I ask what he said.

Dad: Well, it looks like something with my kidneys
Me: 'Something?" What does that mean?

Dad: They aren't working like they should
Me: What did he say was the problem?
Dad: Well...he told me but I really didn't understand what he was saying.
Me: (Knowing full well my Dad couldn't hear what the Dr. said..AARRGH!) So...whats next?

Dad: He said (What?? Okay...Yes I'm going to tell him -thats my Mother in the background, talking to my Dad while hes trying to talk to me, which does piss him off ;)
Dad: He said I'm too old for a transplant
Me: WHAT??? (Where the fuck did that come from???) He said you need one but can't get one????

Dad: No, he didn't say that. Said they weren't too bad but if it was someone 30-40 years younger, they'd do it because it would eventually get bad enough.
Me: ( couldn't have put things in order before you threw out the 'transplant' thing?) whats next?
Dad: I have to call my Primary Dr. and have my records faxed to him. He'd wants them right away so I'm going to call Monday morning and have them faxed. Then I'll (we will) have a meeting with him.

My Mother calls me yesterday. Tells me that Dad called and was told he'd have to drive there and sign a release so they could fax them. On top of that, she tells me he's not feeling good. I wasn't happy about that process but I understood.

My Mother calls me again later. Dad went there and signed the release and told them that his Dr. wanted these fairly quickly. They tell him, keep in mind this is yesterday, that they are really busy and probably won't get them faxed over until THURSDAY!

As you may imagine, this didn't go over real well with me............not one fuckin bit. I get the office number from my Mother and call.

An airhead girl answers and I tell her who I am and why I am calling...........(speaking through clenched fucking teeth)

Me: Whats the problem w/ getting them faxed today?
AH: Well...we are super busy

Me: ('Super' 15?) I understand (I didn't) but really, how long does it take to get that done?
AH: Sir......we're doing the best we can.

Me: You know, I don't really find that comment very encouraging. Tell you what, let me talk to someone who can actually do their job. This is about my Father and I would imagine if it was YOUR Father you would see that it gets (now I am getting beyond pissed)!
AH: Uh....kaaay....we'll fax them today but it may be after office hours.

Me: Thats fine...can I have your name so that I know who to call and thank IF they don't get faxed?
AH: (not getting it at all) Oh.....I'm Vickie (In that really annoying perky fucking sounding voice).

Me: Kaaay, Vickie. And I changed my mind....IF the records aren't faxed then I'm not going to call.........I'm coming up there and just so you are aware, I have no problem whatsoever of bringing someones lack of competence to the forefront......and hopefully your office is packed at that time.
AHV: (silence).........I'll do it right now.
Me: Good idea.......thank you.
My Mother called me today and told me the records did arrive .

Geezus..................fuckin people and their 'I could give a fuck' attitudes. What if I didn't have the sort of 'personality' that it takes to make sure shit gets done? Who the fuck looks out for older people? -Sigh-
If any of you have any doubt that I would have gone there and 'made a fucking scene'.....then y'all really don't get why I go by 'Efen' ;)

Monday, February 2, 2009

SB Monday

Fuckin Steelers................. While wanting the Cards to win to begin with, that was solidified in the beginning when they have the players announce their name and where they went to school. This one DB Steeler fuck, when they're supposed to say the name of the school, says 'Swagger'....WTF??? 'SWAGGER'???????????? about showin some fuckin class instead of going 'ghetto'....on world-wide fuckin TV?

Sick as a fuckin dog most of the weekend....altho "thought" I felt better Saturday night and did go to the movies to see 'Taken' (which I liked). About 4:00 AM I woke up, sicker than I had been previously..fuck. Layed in bed most of the day Sunday, slept alot. Watched some of the 'Pre-Game' SB shows (which started at fuckin 8:00 AM), got bored, and then switched off between 'House' and 'The Closer' marathons. I tell ya, if I woulda been a doctor, 'House' is the kind of one I woulda been. Oh man...that Kyra Sedgwick has got some 'MAJOR' boobage goin on ;)

Watched most of the game ( tend to do that when when you have a 'financial interest' ;)
Enjoyed Springsteen and was glad at least he didn't lip-sync, like the others. Thought I had thrown more money out the window until the 4th quarter came about. Even tho the Cards lost.............I didn't ;)

Feelin some better today but if I hadn't set up a 7:30 Service Meeting I would have probably come in late.

Oh...BTW...I appreciate those of you who have 'written on my wall'.........but please don't waste your time as its extremely doubtful I'll ever go to 'FB' again (besides the fact I have never seen 'my wall' to begin with ;)

Well....thats all I got.