Friday, December 11, 2009

Thank You All!


I want to offer my sincere thanks for every one's kindness and condolences. The words expressed touched me deeply. Each and every one of you will always hold a special place in my heart.

The support of friends and family is one thing that is immeasurable and I thank you all very much!
I'll be back when things settle down some. In case I miss it, I want to wish everyone a wonderful holiday season!!







Monday, December 7, 2009

An Open Letter..


Dear Dad,
I can never repay you for everything you have taught me. The value of providing for your family, the value of hard work, the value of accepting responsibility and being accountable. I know at times I was a 'slow learner' of those values, but I hope you saw me embrace those things as I got older.


I watched, as a kid, all the sacrifices you made so that my sister and I would have whatever we needed. Not understanding until years later exactly what you had done for us.

As I got older, I watched as you came to my house to fix things that had broken because you knew your son just wasn't all that handy. In reality, there were things that I would have had no problem doing but that was your thing and I knew how much you enjoyed it.

I watched as you smiled as I complained to you about your granddaughter, hearing you say "You know, she's no different than you were at that age". I just shook at my heard and wondered 'WTF?' when your grandkids would do things that I would have been killed for and hearing you say "They're just kids and those are things that kids do".

I watched as you took care of Mother for years when her health failed then watched you show patience that I had never seen when she got better.

I watched as your brothers would come to for any kind of help and saw how they looked up to you, even though they all had the same traits as you.

I watched as my daughter's face would light up whenever you two were together. You would gently tease her about things and later she would say to me "You know what Poppa said?"...then laugh as she repeated your every word.

I watched as you took your chemo and dialysis treatments, knowing full well you were doing those things because I had asked you to, for me, not for yourself.

The past 9 nine months were so hard on you. I watched as you struggled to do the daily things. I fought back tears whenever I asked how you felt and you said "I feel fine". You never, ever, complained or got depressed even though each week seemed to be harder on you.

We always had a great relationship, one that I thought couldn't get any stronger, but I was wrong. Over the past months, we have spent many extra hours together. Even though the circumstances were bad, I treasure the additional time we were able to be together. Talking about nothing in particular but both of us enjoying every minute.

I watched, with tears coming down my face, as the Doctor in ICU told you what the prognosis was. That was until you looked at me and said "Look...there's nothing to be upset about. I've lived a long and good life and I'm not scared or afraid. It's my time now. You and your sister will be just fine and I know you'll take care of your Mother"

I watched as you explained it to my daughter..."Honey, there's no need to cry. It's just like a train thats coming to the end of the line. I've accepted that so please don't feel sorry for me 'cause I sure don't. I'm so very proud of you".

I watched as I kissed you on the cheek and told you that I loved you and you looked me in the eye and said "I love you too, son" and then said 'Go home...you've been here all day. They'll take care of me....don't worry".


My Father passed away December 2nd, 3:15 AM. I will miss him terribly.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Summer Classes Now Being Offered!

Summer Classes for Women at
THE
ADULT LEARNING CENTER

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
by Friday, May 15, 2010

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.
Class 1
Up in Winter, Down in Summer - How to Adjust a Thermostat
Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 wks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hrs beginning at 7:00 PM..

Class 2
Which Takes More Energy - Putting the Toilet Seat Down, or Bitching About It for 3 Hours?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Drive Past a Wal-Mart Without Stopping?--Group Debate.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between a Purse and a Suitcase--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5
Curling Irons--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Bathroom Cabinet?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours b eginning
at 7:00 PM

Class 6
How to Ask Questions During Commercials and Be Quiet During the Program.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7
Can a Bath Be Taken Without 14 Different Kinds of Soaps and Shampoos?
Open Forum.
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8
Health Watch--They Make Medicine for PMS - USE IT!
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
I Was Wrong and He Was Right!--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Class 10
How to Parallel Park In Less Than 20 Minutes Without an Insurance Claim.
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live--How to Apply Brakes Without Throwing Passengers Through the Windshield.
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Since I haven't been 'mfed' in awhile..I thought I'd just throw this out ;)

Note: Part 2 of 'Pink Houses' still to come

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Little Pink Houses (And The Wedding)....Part 1




I know...its been awhile.
Dad's kidneys have gotten so bad, as a result from his blood cancer, that he's now on dialysis 3 times a week plus with with his bi-weekly chemo treatments, its all starting to take a pretty big toll on him. So, its been very hectic here in 'Efenland' and it doesn't appear to be getting better anytime soon. But.. we had a wedding to go to in Sarasota (wife's niece) and had made all the plans to ensure that everything was covered while we were gone.


Was all set for a week's vacation (or as they say in 'LauraVille'...vacay;) 1/2 of it in Key West and the other remaining time in Sarasota (for the wedding). That was until I got a phone call the Saturday night before we were leaving....at 9:32 PM to be exact. It was my Mother, telling me that she had slipped on a rug and that '911' was on the way. "Are you hurt?" I asked. "Well...I hit my head and there's alot of blood". I rush right over and the EMT's are there. I find my Mother in the bedroom, sitting on the floor with her back against the bed...and there's blood...blood fucking everywhere. They had a bandage around her forehead and I could see that her shoulder looked 'funny'.

I get Dad settled and off I go, following the ambulance to the hospital. It's now almost 10:30. They get her right into ER but thats where things slowed 'somewhat'. Her care was good but being that she has other medical conditions, test after test is performed..with a lengthy waiting period between each one. Finally the ER Dr. comes in and tells me that not only does she have a broken shoulder but its dislocated. He tried to put it back in but no luck. He said either an Ortho Surgeon could do it manually or he'd have to put it back surgically. Mom gets into her own room at 4:15 and I get home close to 5:00.

Well, our plane was supposed to leave in 6 hours so I get on the phone and cancel everything..plane, hotel(s), and car rentals. I felt really bad for my Mrs. Efen because I knew how much she had been looking forward to our trip and coupled with the fact that my sister was coming in from Orlando for the week to take care of my Dad, well, it seemed like a rare opportunity lost.

After seeing my Mother, I go to see Dad. The 1st question he asks is "What times your plane leaving?" I tell him the changes I made and he gets alittle pissed. "Listen, you've been dealing with me and your Mother for 10 months now, with no breaks at all. You need to get away from this crap. Your sister will be here in a couple of hours, she can handle everything....so go and quit worrying". Uh...wasn't sure what to do. Didn't what my sister walking into all of this w/o me here to help. I wait til she gets there and asks her what she thinks? She says 'GO'. Fuck...I was really feeling guilty about just leaving this for someone else to handle but my sister is more than capable so I decided we would. Couldn't do the Key West thing, just not enough time, that and the air fare had doubled.

Finally decided we'd fly into Tampa Monday night, drive to St. Pete Beach and stay at a hotel we had saw online until Thursday when we'd drive down to Sarasota, for the weekend wedding. Last minute trips are never cheap but the need to go far out-weighed the cost.

Arrive in Tampa Monday night and go to the car rental place. I found a pretty good deal on a 'mid-size' so I had that reserved. Go to the counter and give Rental Guy my name.

RG: Okay, got you all set-up. We have you in a very nice PT Cruiser!

Me: You can forget that.

RG: I don't understand.

Me: I won't pay you to drive a car I wouldn't be caught dead driving.

RG: Sir...most people love them!

Me: Thats great for 'most' people, I'm not one of them. I don't care what you have to do, upgrade me, whatever.

RG: Well...that will cost you more.

Me: I just said 'I don't care'...just put me in something that doesn't look like I'm trying to recapture my youth in a pretend 'cool car'.

RG: Okay..no problem. I'm sure you'd like to take out the additional insurance because etc etc etc etc etc etc

Me: (I tuned out all that shit after 'additional') Listen, I have a Corporate Insurance Policy and it even covers shit like being attacked by a plague of locusts or Jamaican drug smugglers so I don't need it or want it

RG: Let me explain the benefits to you...

Me: Let me explain something to you..You either rent me something at your jacked up last-minute price and forget the Insurance scam or I'll walk over there (me pointing) and rent something from them.

RG: Here ya go, Sir. Please sign here and have a nice trip.

Motherfuckers...they try to take advantage of people who don't know any better and those that are travel-weary and are too tired to 'fight back'. Gutless pricks...I hate 'em.

Now, we have to cross the street with all of our fucking bags, go up a fuckin elevator to the 4th level, them carry our shit another 50 fuckin yards to the 'Pick-up Kiosk'. I give the guy my papers, he hands me the keys and tells me 'Its in Spot 46....just up the ramp on your left'.

"WTF?? Are you fuckin tellin me that I have to go get this fuckin car MYSELF and drive it back here to load up our fuckin bags??? Are you fucking SERIOUS?"

'Uh...well...I can go get it for you, if you want?"

"Buddy...take a guess".

"Ok...I'll be right back".

Seriously...I'm renting this fucking over-priced car from them and they expect me to do part of their fucking job? Geezus...no wonder this country is so fucked up..I wouldn't be a bit surprised if this wasn't some sort of 'Company Policy'...fucking morons, from top to bottom.

I'm not going to even get into the phone call I received from the Car Rental place, after we had driven 20 fuckin miles, tellin me we left a bag at the Kiosk. You can pretty much guess who I blamed that on...I tell ya, that drive from Tampa to St. Pete Beach can be a pretty quiet one. But the hotel was very nice (as pictured) and soon all was forgiven...ok..I was forgiven ;)

Part 2 to follow...which includes some pretty funny shit ;)

Friday, September 18, 2009

Happy BD and a WTF?


First off, I want to wish 'Daddys Little Girl' a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Geez....seems like only yesterday she was born. Uh...not that she'll read this because she is blissfully unaware that 'Dad' has this blog thing ;)

Note to J-Fab.....the years FLY by so enjoy every moment when they're little...cuz when they get older they somehow develop a 'mouth' ;).........BUT, they do grow out of that stage..thankfully :)

Ok..here's my 'WTF?" This girl I know (who happens to be quite 'hot'....go figure ;) calls me Tuesday afternoon and asks if I have tickets for the Cardinals day game the next day. I say that I do and I'm going. She asks if she can go too and I tell her I do have an extra ticket and she'd be welcome (duh....) She's all excited and shit and tells me she can't wait. A couple of hours later she calls back and asks if I can pick her on my way to the game. Well....she does have really, really big boobs so 'of course' I say yes. We leave it as she's gonna call me the next morning and we'd set the time then. I'm meeting two other people at the game and since its a 1:15 start, I had already told them we'd meet about 12:30. Plenty of time to hit a bar or two on the way to the ballpark.

Wednesday morning rolls around and its now 10:30 and I haven't heard from her so I call.....right to fuckin voicemail...so I text her, saying we'd need to leave by noon. I head up to 'SV' for lunch because no way can I drink on an empty stomach. Well...I CAN but the aftermath can get pretty funny.......or ugly...depending on your outlook.

At 11:40 I get a text from her.."sorry.....just woke up (not surprised)...call you in a few minutes". I text my buddies tellin them it would probably be 12:45 before I got there. I finish lunch and its now Noon.....and nuthin....no call, no text. I give her 10 more minutes...still nuthin...'fuck this'...so off I go. It only takes me about 20 minutes to get downtown so I'm there at 12:30...as planned. I called my buddy along the way, tellin him I had an extra ticket if he knew anyone (he works in a big office downtown), to give it to them.

We all meet up, stop for a couple of beers, and walk to the stadium. It's now 1:10...."Ringggggggg.....Ringggggggg".....

Me: Hello?

Her: Okay....I'm ready!

Me: You know what time it is?

Her: A little after 1:00.

Me: Didn't I tell you we needed to leave by Noon?

Her: Are you THERE?....You're at the GAME?

Me: Did you fucking think and I was going sit around and wait...not knowing if you were going or not? Besides...you said you call 'in a few minutes'...and that was 1 1/2 hours ago.

Her: (Silence).........uh, then I guess you're not going to come and pick me up?

Me: Nope...not at all.

Her: Well, I thought we were going and cancelled other plans.

Me: Listen...I'm not going argue about this. I upheld my end, you overslept...not my fault, you said you'd call me back in a few minutes..you didn't..plus, I had people waiting for me. If you can't understand the concept of responsibility, again, not my fucking problem.....click......

She called back but I hit 'ignore'....fuck that shit.

Geez....you'd a thought we were sleeping together or sumthin (her showin me her boobs like a hundred times don't count)

I'm not asking if you think I was right or wrong...I know I was fucking right. Frankly, I'm too old to babysit or hand hold....if you're not mature enough or don't have a sense of responsibility...then I don't have any time to waste on your sorry ass. Besides.....she has a twin sister... ;)

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Please.....Don't light the oven, my head is in it.




Lets get a couple of things handled first:

My dear Elle...I am very sorry about your nephews friend. Its hard enough to get through life at that age without having to deal with something as tragic as that. Being forced to question your mortality at such a time in your life simply isn't right...or fair. My prayers and wishes go out to everyone who has been touched by this.


And....I truly feel terrible I forgot your birthday but I hope you had a great day...in spite of me forgetting ;)

To everyone else, you have my apology and believe me, I am suitably contrite.

Okay, on to the business at hand....Things have been, how can I put this eloquently.....oh, I know.....fucked.

As many of you know, my Dad has been going through all that chemo shit and until the past couple of weeks, hasn't been effected much by its side-effects. That was until the itching started. Its pretty much a constant a thing, itching from one part of his body to another. So, now on top of the fatigue from the chemo, he can't sleep more than a couple of hours, then the itching wakes him up, plus the blood cancer caused his arthritis to go into 'overdrive' and its hard for him to walk. I feel so bad for him, looking at him, knowing he's tiring rapidly of all of this, but never a complaint.

My Mother on the other hand, makes me want to scream "WTF is your problem, NOW?" She's been in semi-poor health for several years now and all during that time, Dad waited on her hand and foot.....even more that I thought he needed to but fuck, I'm not gonna tell my Dad what he should or shouldn't be doing.

Mother is and has been, 100% convinced that she has some sort of illness, not a simple one mind you, but one that is basically a death sentence. I have had her to every one of her fucking doctors and they have all told her basically the same thing (after running tests and tests and tests)....the reason she's tired and run down and losing weight is because she doesn't fucking eat! Her muscles ache because shes having to burn them as fuel because shes using up more calories than shes taking in....and the lack of any exercise just makes the problem worse. Actually, her Lung doctor told her point blank "If you don't start eating, you will die...and that won't be far off'

Did this have any fucking effect..oh yeah....for maybe 7-10 days. She won't take her 'psyc meds'
because of one lame fucking excuse or another, even her Dr. told her besides making her feel 'less anxious' it would increase her appetite...nope, those weren't good enough reasons, evidently. In short, she won't help herself but will moan and complain about how she feels. All this during a time that my Dad could really use the help.

Today, I bring Dad home after he got a transfusion. He's in a real good mood and we talk all way the back. We walk in the house, there's Mother, sitting on the couch with 'that look'. Theres also some lady (Joyce) there, a friend, whom I had never met. I ask Mother whats wrong? She's weak (duh?), and her lower back hurts when she bends over. She went to the Dr. last week so I ask her if he had called with the test results? No, but I'm probably going to have to be put in the hospital, she tells me. Okay, I am in no fucking mood for this, so I tell her 'Call him then, call me at work and let me know...I gotta go'. She then tells me 'Joyce' can take her to the hospital if she has to go.

Let me tell y'all something, No one, I mean no one (well, maybe my sister if she would deem it at all fucking necessary to come back for a week) would take either of my parents to the hospital except me, and my Mother knows that very fucking well...but I wasn't playing that fuckin game, so I said "That would be nice of her". Fuck that shit...I was (and am) pissed by the whole motherfuckin thing.

'Joyce' then decides its her unalienable right to stick her fucking nose in my fucking business......."Efen...I think your Mother should call the doctor now and you should wait to see what he says".

"Really, Joyce..thats what you think I should do?....You think the Dr. is going to drop everything and take her call or do you think I should just sit here for 5-6 hours waiting for him to call back?"

She gave me that "I have never seen such an uncompassionate son in my whole life' look...thats fine, I gave her my 'Shut the fuck up and mind your own fuckin business with your 1980's hairdo' look.

Dad sat there and as I left, he gave me his 'I don't blame you' look. Dad was always a cool guy ;)

The more I thought about it later, I decided Mother is correct, she does need to go in the hospital...and if they don't find anything wrong, then she should head over to the 'psyc ward' for a month or two. Besides that getting her hopefully better, Dad and I need a break.

Yeah, I know...I sound like a real prince of a guy. Ya know what, right now I don't give one flying fuck.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Random Thoughts....

Okay, Okay....I know I've been extremely remiss of my blogs duties lately. Its not that I don't give a fuck, just been alittle overwhelmed with some other things. Once my planets are back in perfect alignment (whatever the fuck that means), I'll be doing all the shit I'm supposed to.

Meanwhile, here's some more shit I stole ;)

1. More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves
me.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with sticks when they've invented the lighter?

4. Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

5. That's enough, Nickelback.

6. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

7. The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.

8. Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.

9. There is a great need for sarcasm font.

10. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the fuck was going on when I first saw it.

11. I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.

12. The other night I hit a new low at a bar. I had to find a bathroom. Eventually I decided it was probably on the other side of the bar so I tried to walk over there, but ran into a guy coming the other way. We played that, Both go left, Both go right game to no avail, so I finally put out my hand to guide myself past and that's is when I realized, yup, that's a mirror I just tried to walk through. And the guy on the other side is me. Even cats can recognize their own image.

13. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

14. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

15. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

16. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

17. A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.

18. Was learning cursive really necessary?

19. Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".

20. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

21. Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.

22. My brother's Municipal League baseball team is named the Stepdads. Seeing as none of the guys on the team are actual stepdads, I inquired about the name. He explained, "Cuz we beat you, and you hate us." Classy, bro.

23. Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

24. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

25. I love the sense of camaraderie when a n entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

26. Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"

27. What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

28. While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

29. MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get the fuck out of my neighborhood.

30. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

31. I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.

32. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

33. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

34. Bad decisions make good stories

35. Whenever I'm internet stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!

36. Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?

37. If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.

38. Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....

39. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

40. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.

41. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

42. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

43. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.

44. I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'

45. While watching the Olympics, I find myself cheering equally for China and USA. No, I am not of Chinese descent, but I am fairly certain that when Chinese athletes don't win, they are executed.

46. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

47. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

48. When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.

49. I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

50. Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...

51. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

52. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

53. It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.

54. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

55. I think that if, years down the road when I'm trying to have a kid, I find out that I'm sterile, most of my disappointment will stem from the fact that I was not aware of my condition in college.

56. Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.

57. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...

58. My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?

59. It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.

60. I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.

61. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

62. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Bud Lights than Kay.

63. The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat ass before dinner.

Friday, August 7, 2009

Photos (ok...I admit, I aint got nuthin)

Please feel free to add your own captions ;)




Hmmmm....Where the fuck was taken....the Bates Motel??


There's waaaay more than one question here.

Guess who got invited to the prom.........by another couple.



He figured that matching earrings would be alittle 'over the top'



Looks like Mom may not be too fuckin happy about this 'union'.



Safety first! Don't forget to 'buckle-up'.



Nothing says 'I Love You' like a dose of GHB.



Really?? The only spot you could find for her in your 'group' was under a fucking chair?



'Junior' just got the word that he was named 'TV Evangelist of The Year'

Friday, July 24, 2009

(Updated) This is pretty darn cool!

video

You'll have to turn up your speakers...

AND...for all you FaceBook users, here's one that I liked :)





Y'all probably saw this on TV but since it made me smile (and I'm normally alittle stodgy in regards to tradition), I thought it was worth a post.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

The Home Run Derby & The All Star Game

I realize if you aren't into baseball then my affinty for the sport and its history is something you find hard to understand...but I had so much fun this past week....possibly even more than I did in '06 at the World Series.
My brother-in-law came in Sunday evening...and he's more into baseball than even I am. By 9:00 AM Monday, we were already downtown and headed to the 'FanFest'. This event is so freakin cool! Basically, its the Convention Center filled with all kinds of inter-active stuff for the kids, tons and tons of memorabilia, radio broadcasts, celebrities walking around, and most importantly, members of baseballs Hall of Fame (HOF)...everywhere you looked! I was in fucking baseball heaven!

I got to meet several of them as well as getting their autographs and pictures. It was just so fucking cool and they were some of the nicest people you'd ever meet. Keep in mind, these were guys I watched when I was kid....and I wasn't disappointed at all.

Went to the HR Derby, which strangely enough isn't something I care all that much about but since Albert and Ryan Howard (hometown boy) were participating, I wanted to catch at least an hour of it. We left about 8:30 because I had made dinner reservations at Shannons (owned by the former player and current Cardinals broadcaster) for 9:00.

Man...was that fucking cool at Shannons. Here's some of the people that were either seated very close or walked by: Whitey Herzog, Lou Brock (HOF), Bob Gibson (HOF), Ken Griffey, Sr., Bruce Sutter (HOF), Jason Bartlett (SS for Tampa Bay) and a couple of guys from the MLB network.

The All-Star Game was very cool, except for the AL winning. The atmosphere rivaled any World Series game that I have been to. The only thing that REALLY sucked was that everyone entering the stadium had to go through metal detectors and then get 'the wand'. This led to lines that were sooooo fucking long, just to get inside....plus they had all kinds of streets and highways closed. All of this was courtesy of Obama. Why Presidents have to show up for these events is beyond me. Don't they get the 'spotlight' enough on a daily basis? Luckily, since we were downtown by 11:00, we weren't affected by the street closings. BUT....I do admit, seeing the snipers on top of the stadium was pretty cool ;)

My apologies to 'The Girl'.....didn't see Utley or Howard anywhere prior to the All-Star game and I wasn't about to go inside the stadium 4 hours prior to game time (once in, you couldn't leave, which meant 'No Smoking') to get their autographs...I'm sure you understand.....right???? ;)

All in all...a great fucking time :)

Ok...a few pictures;


Main Entrance:

Pre-HR Derby:


View from my seats:



How amazing is this?

He actually apologized for being in the picture..I laughed and told him the back of his shirt is what I wanted. In case you can't make it out, it says 'U.S. Secret Service'.

See the snipers on the catwalk:


Self-Explanatory ;)


Shannons:

Friday, July 10, 2009

All-Star Game


This coming Tuesday is the All-Star Game. Now, if you aren't into baseball, then you'll probably don't give a fuck, but since I am, and since I'm going...I am waaaaaay excited ;)

I have never been to one before and no doubt, this will be my last chance since the last one we hosted was back in '66 and I'm not putting any money down that I'll be around for 43 more years.

My brother-in-law is flying in from Orlando on Sunday. My best friend since I was 9, is coming in from Kansas City on Monday morning....and I'm taking Monday and Tuesday off. Besides the game, there are TONS of All-Star activities going on downtown with many, many, former All-Stars and Hall Of Famers on hand. I also have tickets for a free autograph session with maybe a dozen Hall of Famers signing. Fuck...I feel like I'm 9 again! :)

I'll post pictures next week...and I'll do my best to get Ryan Howard (hometown boy) and Utley's pictures for 'The Girl'.....hmmm....that makes me think, what if I could get one of them to sign a picture saying "To R........"? Uh...what would that get me ;) ;)

Hope everyone has a great weekend...and thanks to Ron for his BD comment..appreciate it!

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Life in the Weird Lane


Ok..not as catchy as the Eagles title but it's certainly apropos.

In my prior post I mentioned how crappy a job the Street Dept. did when they filled the joints with asphalt. This was a fact, not merely a figment of my imagination or simply my opinion. I know bullshit work when I see it. Anyhow, I got called out about it by some fuck that I have never had any interaction with prior. It seems his 'point' was that if I had never done this type of work before then I had no right to criticize and I should just accept the shit job that was performed. Evidently, no matter the quality, if this isn't my area of expertise, then I should have accepted it because I have no idea how hard it is to do the job correctly.

To this, I say 'What the fuck is your problem'? So, you've never had work done by someone else that was sub-par? And if you did, you just said "thats ok because I'm sure its a difficult job and I don't expect it to be done properly"? If thats the case (and it surely sounds like it) then you are truly a fucking moron and a shining example of whats wrong in the world today. Its my guess that you're one of the those that refuse to be accountable for your actions, that whenever you fuck up, its someones elses fault. Never taking responsibility, never being man enough to say "I fucked up"....just expecting others to be happy with what you do because 'you tried'.

I, live in the 'real world'. I expect of those that work for me, and also from myself, to do the best job possible, with no excuses or exceptions. I will not tolerate laziness or the attitude that 'its good enough'. I don't care if a customer spends $25 with us or $25,000, they are all entitled to the best possible service that we can deliver. There are parts of my (and my employees) job that are extremely difficult. If we make the wrong recommendation or sell the improper equipment, it could have devastating consequences for the customer, which in-turn comes back to us. Do you think if we fuck up we could get by with telling the customer 'Sorry...but you just don't have any idea how difficult this job is"? That is the most asinine fucking thing I have ever heard. We are being paid to do a job and perform a service to its fullest...not to do a half-ass job and expect the customer to just accept it.

I hold others to the same standards that I place on myself and my company. Why should I settle for anything less? If I did, then why would I be surprised to learn that my customers decided to go elsewhere? Fuck man, I wouldn't blame them. But...I guess you would.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

The heat...and other things that make me crabby







Fuckin 98 here today (as well as the past few days) and gonna be like this for awhile. I normally take what 'summer gives', but it's still fucking June....way too early. I know, I know, I'm gonna hear from y'all in the South but WTF?? The temp is part of where you live....and its not supposed to be this hot here until mid-July.

Fuckin AC's were both running non-stop...until one them quit this afternoon....the big, main one. Trying to get an AC company here in this weather is next to fucking impossible...unless we have 3 days to wait. Current temp is now 87 fuckin degrees in here.

Fuckin Street Dept.............I come home from work yesterday and see that the Street Dept. had been doing work on my street......filling the joints between the concrete with asphalt. Ok, no problem with that. My problem is that they spilled (dripped, splattered, etc) more than they filled, all over the whole fuckin street. There are literally pools of this shit every 8-10 feet, in all fucking directions. Why can't they have the fuckin people who know how to do this properly do it...instead of these ass-clowns who don't give a fuck? This kinda crap really pisses me off because of the ensuing mess it causes. So, being the 'concerned citizen' I am, I called them this morning. Here's how it went:

Me: Whom do I speak to regarding street repair?

Government Lackey: You need sumthin fixed or have a complaint?

Me: A complaint

GL: Hold on...those lines are busy..wanna hold?

Me: (No fuckin doubt) Yes, I do.

Maybe 10 minutes goes by and its then answered by someone that could not have sounded more bored.

GL#2: StreetdeptcomplaintofficehowcanIhepyou?

I tell her what the problem is and thats where I lost her.

GL#2: So..you're complaining that we did the work?

Me: No...I'm complaining because it looks like it was done by a bunch of 4 year-olds.

GL#2: But...the work was done...right?

Me: Yes...but it looks like hell and there is puddles of asphalt in areas they weren't work working on....its slopped all over.

GL#2: Sir.....we did the work and while it may not live up to your standards, the job is finished.

Me: Look, all I'm sayin is that if they would taken a little more care they could have done this job so it looked alittle less like it was done by a bunch of semi-trained chimps.

GL#2: Sir....I don't see how this has any adverse effect on you or the other residents.

Me: I'm sure you don't 'see' but I'll try to explain this. What happens when you drive through a big puddle of tacky asphalt thats located right in front of your concrete driveway?

GL#2: Sir, I would suggest not driving through it then...you should try to avoid those areas.
Me: (Trying extremely hard to keep from telling to her go fuck herself) Hmm....I guess that would be a solution..IF IT WAS HUMANLY POSSIBLE TO AVOID BUT SINCE THE MORONS DECIDED TO SPILL ASPHALT EVERYWHERE YOU CAN'T HELP BUT DRIVE THROUGH IT!

GL#2: Sir, that happens whenever asphalt is used. There is nothing we can do to prevent that.

Me: Okay (getting real fucking exasperated)...so, do I call you back to schedule someone to come out and clean all that crap off of my driveway and my garage floor? What I'm saying is that I am holding your department responsible for my property being damaged due to the negligence of your employees and that I am going to make it 'official' by putting everything in writing and stating that I spoke to you and that you basically said 'too bad...my problem'.

GL#2: Uh......would you like to speak to my supervisor?

Me: Nope....you've told me everything I needed to know and I think I have properly recorded it all down. Can I read it back to you to make sure that I am 100% correct?

GL#2: Uh...okay....what I can do is contact the Street Supervisor and have him go by and look at it. I do know that if they find the job is 'sub-par' they can remedy the problem as well as clean up the 'subject area'.

Me: Thats all I wanted in the 1st place. Here's my cell number, have him call me when he knows he's going to come out and I'll meet him.


Now, may I ask..What The Fuck???? Why not just come out and say this to begin with instead of all this 'hard to get along with' bullshit? This fuckin phone call coulda been over in 5 fucking minutes.

Fuck....didn't she know I was hot................and crabby????? Well...I bet she knows now.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Ok.....Bathroom Pics Are Up..Are You Really Excited???






















Had y'all on the edge of your seats.........didn't I? So, thats it and I am fuckin done w/ any more 'remodel' shit.....................uh..well, thats what I think.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Like a JunkYard Dog...

Thats how mad I was and truthfully, I guess I haven't calmed down all that much....I mean I am still royally fuckin pissed...uh....guess I had better back up some.

If y'all recall, I had found a '68 GTO online..all the way in fuckin Youngstown,Ohio...12 fuckin miles from Pennsylvania.

I talked to the guy who owned this car, several times, and asked him every fuckin question I could think of, about the car. I even had him send me a lot of additional pictures so I could look them over closely.

Finally I had decided that this was the car I was going to buy. I figured that I would drive up, rent a 'car hauler' trailer there, buy the car, and haul it back.

A buddy of mine from 'SV' went along. I wanted him to go, not only for the company, but because he knows about shit like this...plus he's a funny fucker.

I pick him up at 7:00 AM on last Thursday...and its raining. Raining like a mfer. In fact, we drove the whole fuckin way in the rain. Besides being annoying as it can be, it forced me to drive slower and when I have 600 fuckin miles to drive, going slower really isn't an option that I prefer.

For those of you that are geographically challenged, from St. Louis, you have to drive through Illinois, Indiana, and then almost all the way across Ohio to get to Youngstown. But...I was excited so the drive wasn't that bad.

About 30 miles out of Youngstown, I call the GTO guy and ask if we could come by and look at it now instead of in the morning. He says 'fine' but tells me that he would like to get this done before he sits down for dinner. WTF??? I just drove 11 fuckin hours and this dickhead is worried about his fuckin dinner? I tell him I'll do what I can but I'm not going to rush it through.

I tell my buddy what he said. He replies 'I bet he's fuckin pussy whipped and his wife is makin him sell his car'.

We pull up to his house........a very nice house too. He comes out and we do all the bullshit intro crap. We walk around to the garage and there it is, just like he said................. except the 1st thing I see a 15" section of rusted door on the passenger side, along with 2 holes that had been drilled for the outside mirror, except when they tried to open the side vent window (most of you probably don't remember these), it hit the mirror, so they simply drilled 2 more holes and moved back...but didn't bother fill the holes.

WTF?? Like I said, I had him send me a lot of pictures and nothing like this showed up. My buddy and I look over the car, both of us finding things we didn't like (Uh....are the GTO emblems supposed to be so loose they feel like they're going to fall off....whats all that paint bubbling...is that rust coming through....Do you see the transmission fluid leaking..if the bumpers have been re-chromed, then why are they rusty)?

Now...I am in fuckin disbelief. I just drove all this way and I'm going home empty-handed. GTO guy jumps in and starts it up....Okay..that almost swayed me..this thing sounded great. I'm sure people could hear it rumbling 2 fuckin blocks away.

He gets out, smiling. "Sounds 'bad-ass' doesn't it" Now.....get what he says next and I swear this is the honest fucking truth...."You oughta see the girls at McDonalds drive-thru when I pull up. They're all smiles and give me the 'thumbs up'. Of course he didn't say 'thumbs-up', he just snapped both if his thumbs up and fuckin grinned. I coulda jacked him right between his fuckin eyes. Yeah...thats what I want, a car that impresses a bunch of 16 year olds at the drive-thru.

I pull out the pictures he sent and ask him "Wheres the big fuckin rust spot on the door"?

GTO Guy: Uh..I guess it didn't show up in the picture.

Me: Thats bullshit...you photo shopped the fuckin picture...and had me drive 600 fuckin miles. Did you think I wouldn't see it? That I would just say okay and take it? Man...that is really a fucked up thing to do (of course, my voice was getting louder and louder). We're outta here and you can keep your fuckin car.

My buddy, sensing that he may have to end up bailing me out of a Ohio jail, moves over to me and says 'lets go'.

GTO Guy: YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BUY IT?? I transferred the title over to your name yesterday. How am I going to sell it with your name on the title?

Me: I don't give a fuck, thats your fucking problem and that just shows me what a fucking moron you are. Who transfers a title BEFORE you get the money?

GTO Guy: I'm keeping your $50 deposit. Thats what it cost me to change the title over.

Me: I don't give a fuck...keep the fuckin 50.

We drove off and headed back for an hour or so...with little being said. Finally my buddy said "Ya know, that guy was not only married to an ugly gal, he had ugly kids too". That kinda put things in 'perspective' and I started laughing. We stopped and got a hotel for the night. By the next day, all was good and the trip back was pretty enjoyable....that is until I got a phone call from the place I was going to rent the 'car hauler'. I called them after I left GTO Guy and told them I wouldn't be needing it. Now this gal calls me and tells me they are going to charge me $50 for NOT renting it....even though they didn't disclose this prior as part of the verbal rental agreement. "Go ahead...I don't care...I'll just dispute it on my charge. Thank you for calling". We laughed some more ;)

Sunday, May 31, 2009

I've Missed You Guys!!!



(This is going to be long, I feel)

Unlike my beloved Elle....I WILL apologize for 'falling off the face of the earth'. I do want y'all to know that the text I sent her was in response to her text asking "where the fuck I've been?" Too me, thats alittle like the 'pot calling the kettle Laura' ;)

1st, a HUGE shout out to Loni for her 'milk carton' thingy...I laughed my efen ass off at that!! And...my thanks to Elle for giving me the heads up on that :) Very creative, Loni!! :) :)

I tried to do some catching up on 'blog world' this morning and I found some things that makes me sad:

Trish....hang in there honey. Things have a way of working themselves out! EVERYONE goes through some rocky periods and after awhile, cooler heads do prevail. You're in my thoughts and I'm sure things will turn around sooner than later.

'The Girl'.....? Okay, I have no idea where she went, just that her blog is gone. I have my suspicions but no way to confirm them. 'R'.......If you're reading this, I hope you're okay sweetie and you have my love. If you can, send me an e-mail to let me know how you are.....okay?

To J-Fab, Kitch, TGG, ETW (and everyone else).....caught up some on your blogs and I'm glad to see y'all seem to be doing good :) J-Fab still certainly a MILF....uh..sorry, got carried away there ;) You look beautiful...really!! Kitch...WOW..an i-phone...very HIP :) And...the 'donor thing'...even hipper :) TGG....You ought to have your own 'Travel Network' show! Sooo...you're coming to St. Louis, huh? I'm sure you'll be pressed for time but if our schedules coincided, it would be cool to meet!! ETW......do you EVER have any free time?? BTW.....uh..I didn't see any 'current' cleavage pics...just sayin ;)

I'm sure y'all are wondering WTF the picture above is all about. As you can see...it's really yellow ;) and it happens to be a '68 Pontiac GTO. I've dreamed of owning this car since I was a teenager....and now it seems it may actually happen...and I can't believe it. Me, owning a true 'muscle' car :) I found it on-line and it currently resides in Ohio. I've spoken to the owner a couple of time and while theres a few minor details to get worked out, I've agreed to buy it from him (sent him a down payment yesterday). Hopefully in a week or so 'my dream' will be parked in my driveway. Damn...if I coulda pulled this off years ago, what a 'chick magnet' this woulda been ;) Now, I just have to figure out the besy way for me to get it here...fuckin Ohio...600 hundred fuckin miles away...oh well.

Dad Update: He's now concluded his 2nd set of chemo treatments (2 treatments 2x a week for 2 weeks, then a week off equals 1 set). Last week was his 'off week' but I had to take him in Thursday for blood tests. The result of this test was that he needed a transfusion and he had that Friday. Evidently its 'par for the course' because the chemo does not discriminate between 'good' cells and 'bad' cells' and his red blood count was too low. Hopefully, this will give him his strength back some. He hasn't had any negative side effects from the chemo, which is great, but his kidneys haven't shown much improvement as of yet. We'll find out more from the latest blood test tomorrow when we meet with the Dr. They did say it may take 3-4 rounds of treatment before it helps. I'm praying that the results tomorrow do show its doing what its supposed to.

Seriously, the main reason I haven't been around is my schedule is so fucked up. With all the Dr. visits etc, helping out at my parents house and doing things they aren't able to at this point, I'm having to play 'catch up' at work, pretty much on a daily basis. This in turn puts me behind on the shit I need to do at my house so much of my spare time is taken up by all the routine and normal crap. I'm not whining here (Efen does not fucking whine ;) just stating the facts so you don't think I've blown y'all off ;) Uh.....a hot chick at SV did show me her boobs the other day so that pretty well keeps my world intact ;);)

Hope everyone is fine and don't let Elle's latest 'I'm finally posting again' blog fool ya...thats all bullshit ya know ;)

Wednesday, May 6, 2009



I know, I know...."just who the fuck does he think he is.....dropping in, dropping out, dropping in?" I hear y'all and I'm in total agreement. I realize, I ain't 'Elle' (whom evidently, can 'come and go' (hehe) as she pleases ;)

First, I have been lurking....some but admittedly, not a great deal, so I'm sure I'm 'out of the proverbial loop'. If I've missed anything (good or bad) that I should know about, just tell me when you posted and I promise I'll go back and catch up.

I don't really have any excuses but, I have been doing something that I thought I was waaaaay fuckin past and that is working. In case you haven't read a fuckin paper or watched the news on TV in the last 8 fuckin months....the economy pretty well blows. So, drastic times call for drastic measures.....which is why I've been spending a ton of time making sure 'we' (the fucks who work for me, I mean) are operating as fucking efficiently as possible and delivering in every way, shape, and form the things our customers expect. That goes from my salesman all the way to that broad I pay money to answer the phones and whothefuckknows what else she does.

I've had several 'Walk with Jesus' talks to a couple of my employees. I have a 'newer' salesman, been here about a year. Even though he had 'background' in our business, he's pretty much a prima donna little fuck. "His" way is always the better way......and he has totally ignored the last two things I told him to make sure he did on a couple of jobs, jobs which he lost, but of course it wasn't his fault. Now, I may not know everything, but I do know whats involved with selling and what you need to do to make sure that you have an 'edge' over your competitor. It's not easy but but there are steps you have to make sure you do. Taking shortcuts will not fuckin cut it. And he's a 'short-cut' kinda guy.

Anyhow, I call him in my office and basically say "WTF???...maybe 15 fuckin times. You can say just about anything to me (which doesn't mean I'm going to buy it) but fucking NEVER say to me "I don't know". If you don't fucking know why you did something a certain (and fucked up) way, then who the fuck else is going to? I told this guy, whom I'll call 'Skippy', that the next fucking time I tell him to do something and he doesn't...he's fucking fired on the spot. He then proceeds to tell me he thought what he chose to do was better. I proceed to tell him that while he may of thought so, there's one fucking opinion that matters and it ain't his. Oh...and I also told him he had til the end of June. If he hasn't improved there's a gazillion people out there right now looking for jobs. Hey, I don't fire people, they fuckin fire themselves.

Dad Update: Doing well so far. No adverse side-effects and he does seem like he's feeling some better. Still early but thats how it is to-date.

Bathroom Update: Ok, before I said I liked it, which I do but fuck, the mfer ain't done yet. Just odds and end shit that evidently the contractor doesn't feel its worthwhile to get the shit done. Well, he may have felt like that before I called him this morning. I think when I said "You know the balance of the money I owe you...well, I'm instituting a 'late penalty'. Beginning a week from today, for every fucking day its not done, I'm deducting $250". WTF?? This is shit he could knock out in a day or two. Now we're still waiting on the tile company to come back and put 1" tile/pewter square fuckin thingys on the fucking wall around the mirrors, but that ain't his fault. I've got some of their money too. Geez......I would think they know what kind of prick I can be...I mean, they have met me.

Hope all is well with everyone and as soon as I get things settled abit, I'll be back around.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Hey All.............

Sorry for my absence....there's just been so much going on that honestly, I just haven't had the energy...not even 'lurking' much. Hopefully that will right itself in the not too distant future.

Quick update on my Dad. He started his IV Chemo treatment yesterday. Thankfully, he's on the 'short program' which means he's in and out of there in about 30 minutes. So far (knocking on wood) he hasn't had any major side-effects. I know its only been 1 treatment but since the Chemo goes right into his bloodstream, I'm thinking that any side-effects would have occurred fairly quickly...we'll see, I guess. He goes 2x per week, Mondays and Thursdays. He outlook is still great and I'm praying that the Chemo works and that he doesn't get sick.

I am fuckin pissed.......no, I'm beyond pissed..I am so fuckin mad that if I could, I'd have a fucker whacked.

Last night, 9:15 PM, the phone rings. Now maybe to y'all, 9:15 ain't late, but too me, if you're callin at that time, it had better be for a good fuckin reason.

I see on the Caller ID that its from some 'marketing company'. Okay, have to admit, I fuckin LOVE to take these low-life motherfuckers on..I sorta live for this shit. I answer and this LLMF starts with "Hello..We're doing a survey". Thats as far as he got.

Me: Stop right there...I'm on the No Call List.
LLMF: That doesn't apply to us. We're not selling anything
Me: I don't give a fuck. Do you know what fuckin time it is?
LLMF: NO....I don't
Me: Too fuckin stupid to tell time?
LLMF: (brief silence)
Me: I'm going to register a complaint with the Missouri Attorney Generals Office tomorrow....they love to take companies like yours on.
LLMF: Go ahead....knock yourself out.
Me: Fuck you, you jackoff prick.
LLMF: WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME?
Me: (I repeated it)
LLMF: ...Click....

Now, I don't normally go off to this degree but what the fuck, calling after 9:00? I had been up since 5:00 and I was in bed (with the TV on) and was in no fuckin mood.

10 minutes later.........RING.......RING.....RING.......

ARE YOU FUCKIN KIDDING ME????? It's the same prick calling back.

Me: WHAT THE FUCK DIDN'T YOU UNDERSTAND BEFORE?
LLMF: ....Click....

5 minutes passes...RING.......RING......

ME: MOTHERFUCKER......YOU HAVE NO FUCKIN IDEA WHO YOU'RE FUCKIN WITH!(Like I could do anything and like he gave a fuck)
LLMF: I'm going to keep calling until you show me respect.

I thought I was gonna stroke out. I don't remember when I have been this pissed...pissed to a point where if possible, I would do something that woudn't be good.

Me: Since you're such a fuckin bad-ass with a telephone, I can't stop you......yet. BUT you little pussy, I fuckin guarantee you that I will do everything I fuckin can to find about about you're bullshit company and hopefully, in the process, find about about you. Then motherfucker, you'll see that you're not fuckin with someone who 'hopes' shit just goes away.
LLMF: ...Laughs....
Me: ...Click....

I turned off the ringer on the bedroom phone. I checked the caller ID this morning, the motherfucker did call back....2 more times. The last being at 10:50 PM.

I am not done with this. Oh....BTW...if you see this number on your Caller ID...be prepared: 858-428-3213. They go by the names of 'Directions In Research' or 'Market Research'.

Uh....maybe another week then I'll have bathroom pics to post. Gotta admit....I like it ;)

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Sort of an Update..

Dad and I met with the Hematologist/Oncologist yesterday. The Dr. said there two main types of treatment available. One is chemo through an IV, twice a week, 30 minutes per. The other is 'pill form'. While the latter sounds perfect, turns out it has more side effects than the IV method, plus the IV way is a little more aggressive. At this point I'm sure the 'IV Method' is going to be the choice. He has one more test, a bone marrow biopsy, this Thursday. By this time next week, I'm sure the IV thing will be all scheduled. I still marvel at Dad's inability to be fazed.

I'm sure y'all are on 'pins and needles' regarding the progress of the bathroom. Actually, except for some small finishing details (and painting) it should be done this week. I'll wait until the painting is done to post some pics. And....I'm pretty pleased ;)

Now....I have an 'issue'. My fuckin HP printer at home quit working, well, it will print in color but won't print in black. So, I figured even though I had replaced the black cartridge less than 3 months ago, it needed replacing again. So, go out and spend $22 fuckin dollars for a cartridge, pop in and....................nothing..not one fucking thing. Spend some time trying to clean the printer head, again, nothing. Then, I did what I dread and truthfully, what I know fuckin better to do...I called 'Support'. I was on the fuckin phone with 'them' for 1 hour and 17 minutes, and here's the 'best part', not once was I able to tell anyone what the fuck the problem was. I spoke to...ready...13 FUCKIN MORONS!. Every mothafuckin time I was transferred to the wrong fucking department!

Sounds impossible doesn't it...it finally got to the point (after about person #6) that I would cut them off and ask if this was the Dept. for PhotoSmart D-series printer...and I would get "No, I'll transfer you". Then it went like this, repeatedly:

Me: Noooo, DO NOT TRANSFER ME! I'll end up in the wrong place again!!

Support Idiot: No Sir...I promise you I'll see you get to the right Dept...and I'm sorry for your frustration.

Me: Thats what the others have said. I want to talk to your Supervisor!

SI: Sir...I can transfer you. Its not hard to do.

Me: Well it must be cuz I never get there.

SI: Sir, I promise you. I'll even stay on the line to make sure.

Me: Uh..alright then.

Sure the fuck enough, I get put back through 'transfer hell' again...wrong fuckin deparment...again, and that fucker lied about staying on the line.

Me: Stop right there...I've talked to 12 other idiots in over an hour, 2 have flat out lied to me. I want to talk to your Supervisor..NOW!

SI: Sir..I realize your frustrated, but I can help you.

Me: You don't have a clue how fuckin frustrated or pissed I am. I want your Supervisor..I'm done with you.

SI: Sir..my Supervisor won't be able to help you.

Me: Why...is he stupid?

SI: (silence......) Uh..no sir, thats not the reason.

Me: Then he's incompetent? Like the 12 other people I have spoke to prior to you?

SI: Sir....I'm gonna transfer you to the right department..I promise and I'll stay on the line just to show you that we understand your frustration.

Me: Fuck this and fuck your company. I'm gonna throw the fuckin thing in the trash and buy something else.

SI: Sir..there really is no need for that language.

Me: You fuckin serious? If there's one thing that is needed is this type of fuckin language. Ya see, me being nice for over an hour hasn't accomplished one fuckin thing. You 'being sorry' doesn't accomplish one fuckin thing. Understanding my frustration hasn't accomplished one fucking thing. Bottom line is that you fuckin people don't give a shit, just hit that fuckin 'transfer' button, then you're done, on to the next poor fuckin asshole. Well...if my language offended you then I do have to say...."Too fuckin bad and I apologize for your frustration!".

I hung the fucking thing up. Hmmm....I wonder what Best Buy has on sale?

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Hi Y'all ;)

No, my dear Elle, this was not a 'test'...sheesh....I'm waaaay above cheap theatrics ;)

Not sure 'how back' I am, we'll see.

Here's the deal.......My Dad is sick and honestly, that has taken some of my 'drive' away. Two weeks ago he had a kidney biopsy and a full CT scan. Today, we got the results..which pretty much confirmed what the Kidney Specialist thought.

He has a type of blood cancer, Myloma (or according to the fuckin idiot girl who signed him in later today for a battery of x-rays...Melanoma...geezus...I'm correcting her). The good news, no, make it great news, is that the CT Scan came back totally clear :)

Don't know all the particulars as of yet because we still have to see a Hematologist (thats a blood doctor to those of you that went to school in Missouri ;) But...unless I have this all fucked up, it appears to be either somewhat treatable or somewhat manageable. Still depends on a a few factors but at this point, that what I think I know. Evidently, this blood cancer's major 'M.O' is that it clogs up your kidneys, which leads to kidney failure (Or as the Dr's say 'Renal' failure....wtf? Why not just say 'kidney')? So, if whatever chemo treatment they decide on works, even 50%, then my Dad can pretty much go about his business. That is, if he gets his strength back, puts back on some those 30 pounds he has lost.......and as I found out later, if the treatment doesn't make him really sick.

The being 'sick' part I found out from my Mother who told me that Dad told her that he WOULD NOT do chemo, he knew too many people that got extremely sick from it and that he was not going to lose his dignity that way, no matter what. Uh....this is 1 freakin day later after he told me, in no uncertain fuckin terms, that he wasn't going to do dialysis. "I am not going to sit there on a hard chair for 4-5 hours a day, at least 3 days a week, with tubes sticking out of me".

In case it hasn't hit you, Dad is a very proud and practical guy....oh yeah, stubborn too. This whole ordeal has barely fazed him..in fact, I'm not sure it has fazed him at all. If he's worried about anything, its about my Mother....oh, and the fact that I have been missing work to take him to the Dr., get their groceries, crap like that. I explained to him thats why I have people working for me and they get fucking paid to run the place when I'm not there...WTF?

Anyhow, since that one level in his blood hasn't risen any (dropped a tad actually) then dialysis isn't on the table right now, thats one battle I don't have to fight. The chemo thing...well....I'm pretty fuckin stubborn myself. Plus, I do have a way with words ;)

Thats the 'Readers Digest' version and I just wanted to keep y'all in 'the loop'. I'll post again when I know something more. I feel alot better than I did when I woke up this morning because I was prepared for the worst.

Hopefully, next time, I'll have an "Efen Rant" to include as well ;) I do have a few things saved up....duh ;)

I did miss you guys :):)

Monday, March 23, 2009

Taking a break...

I just wanted y'all to know that I'm going to be on hiatus for a little while.

Can't get in the right 'posting' frame of mind so instead of 'half-assin' it (as evidenced by my prior post ;) thought it best to just sit back for a few days.

I wanted you to know so you're not wondering why I'm not commenting on your pages.

I'll still be 'hovering' so if you 'talk shit' about me, I'll know ;)

See y'all...........make sure you play well together....and NO bickering ;)

Thursday, March 19, 2009

In Retrospect....

I 'm sorry for my prior post, which I have since removed. I was feeling a little down and I should know better to post when I'm in 'that mood'.

To those that commented.............I thank you all very much. It does mean alot to me.

I love you guys :)

Monday, March 16, 2009

6 Day Hall Pass

Ok...I'm in Day 3 of my 'hall pass' and not sure I have the stamina to utilize my whole 6 days worth (which I'm sure you can tell by the brevity of this post). Which, bothers me a great deal...as they say...... 'Youth is wasted on the young'.

I thought if I kept my 'routine' as normal as possible, that would alleviate the feeling of not getting shit done because of my 'freedom'. So, I make sure the bed is made as soon as I get up and to clean up after myself as I go along. I even spent Sunday afternoon ironing pants for the week. I don't mind ironing one bit because my Mother taught me how when I was a kid. I also dusted, vacuumed, and did two loads of laundry. None of this is a big deal, just making a point that I wasn't going to turn into a total fucking slacker just because there was no else home. Oh...and my 'routine' of getting up at 5:30 hasn't changed either.....so far ;)

Went out both Saturday and Sunday nights and stayed out..uh....ahem....'pretty late'. Today, I am pretty well dragging. I thought about doing the 'responsible' bit tonight but fuck....I have a dilemma...seems that 'word' has gotten out about my 'hall pass' and I have been fielding calls for the last two days, most of them in the 'Lets do this....' vain. To be honest, if it were just my buddies calling, I'd have no problem turning them down. But....ya see, I've been going to this one bar, known as SV (and very well known to Elle ;) for years. Over that period, I have come to know many of the girls that have/had worked there...and have become very good friends with most of them. Well, when one of them calls (or as luck would have it...one of them with an equally hot twin sister)...WTF am I to say? "Uh...sorry..I'd love to...but I'm tired". Uh....no fuckin way......not ever.

So...I'm planning on going home right after work........ tomorrow.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Random Musings...Part Duh ;)


Not much today......
Thankfully. Really just wanted to move that 'remodel' thing further down the list.

I am soooooooooooooo fuckin tired of the mess, mainly the dust from the drywall and the tile (and the sand and the cement). I know the contractors are doing the best they can but there is only so much they can possibly do to keep the mess to a minimum.


Surprisingly (to me) enough, they have not pissed me off............yet. They not only show up when they're supposed to, they actually show up early. WTF??? I am soooooooo not used to people who actually do what the fuck they either say they're going to or what they're being paid to do.

On top of that...these guys are really fuckin good. Besides their ability, they also have offered some very creative ideas. I'm alittle scared at this point....too fucking good to be true.

Took my Dad to the Ortho Dr. yesterday. In the last 3-4 months he's been having a lot of pain in his shoulders and one of his knees. He has bone spurs in his shoulders and arthritis in his knee. His shoulders had gotten to a point he couldn't raise them high enough to drive without hurting like a bitch. I knew they had to hurt bad because never in my whole life have I've seen him give in to ANY kind of pain. The Dr. had given him some anti-imflammatory meds to try for 2 weeks. Didn't work. So I took him in for a cortisone shot..he got 3. One in each shoulder, one in his knee.

He called me this morning and said his knee felt great and his shoulders were alot better. In fact, he was gonna drive my Mother to her doctors appt. and then they were going to stop somewhere for breakfast. I'm extremely happy for him for he has never had to depend on anyone for anything. Getting his independence back, I am sure, is a huge lift for him. I just hope it lasts for awhile.

I have an apology to make....to Christine (http://realmendontwatchamericanidol.blogspot.com/)
I have no idea why she wasn't listed on my site as a blog I follow. She is absolutely hilarious..kind of reminds me of a female 'efen' ;) So, if y'all haven't been there...go! Its a 'must-read' :)

I have a dilemma........this Saturday, my wife leaves for a 6 day cruise. Thats right.....I have an extended 'hall pass'. Of course I was invited to go along (with her sister and her family) but honestly, I have no desire to 'cruise'. I know, I know...everyone I know who has been tells me what a great time.....yada yada yada....forget it. I don't want any part of it. Anyhow...my 'dilemma' is how to fill my new-found free time.

Hmm.....wish I could come up with sumthin.

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Progress.....as promised

Ok...here's a few more.

This is the shower (well...it's gonna be)

Here's the closet....wall has been added and closet is extended.


Another view of the entrance to the shower.

I can't wait for all this shit to be done. There is fucking drywall dust EVERYWHERE! The marble and tile guys come Monday, so more fuckin dust. They are supposed to be here a week. After that, the cabinets are due to be put in....if they ever fucking arrive.
I'll post a couple of more after the tile and marble gets installed. Are y'all on the edge of your seat like I am?