Fuckin Leaves...and my weekend

All in all, a fairly good weekend but the weather is turning to crap and the damn leaves are piling up....again, as I type.

Saturday morning, did my usual coffee and newspaper...inside though because of the temperature....and the freakin wind. Now, I know its not cold yet, 29 degrees Saturday morn, but fuck, last Saturday it was 74!

I sat there looking out the window....cussing every fuckin leaf that was on my yard. Oh, yeah...thats how I refer to them....."fuckin leaves". Every sentence I say when this topic comes up with any of my buddies, starts off with "Fuckin leaves......" As a matter of fact, they start theirs off the same way.

It's not like I don't try to stay on top of this shit...I've already done the fuckin things 3 times and it's extremely likely I'll have another 3-4 times before its all over with. I have a few trees, 7 of 'em....not as many as others, more than some..but most of them are over 80' fuckin high...and trees that large do produce a lot of fuckin leaves. I wouldn't mind it so if two of my lazy-ass fuckin no account neighbors would bother doing their own fuckin leaves...instead of lettin them sit there til they blow over into my yard. WTF?? Don't people have any sense of responsibility? Sheesh....can't even believe I asked that question....of course they fuckin don't.

So, I put my on my 'cold-weather shit' and go outside...geez...the fuckin wind was brutal. Didn't take all that long to get done, maybe 3 hours. I only 'bag' the front yard. The back, I just keep going over them, mulching, til they're gone....tempted the whole time to bag it all and then dump the shit in my neighbors drive.....but, they'd just fuckin blow back to mine anyhow.

Got that shit done and went to Best Buy. My Dad's remote quit working, well, it worked some, but half-ass. I told him I'd get him a 'Universal' remote that operated his shit. Found a pretty decent one for $20 (fuck...they had some that were $300!). Went by there, programmed it with his TV and his DVD player (couldn't get his VCR to work with it but I don't think he ever uses it anyhow). Works fine and now he doesn't have to get up and manually change stations or adjust volume. Then I dropped by "SV" for abit. Not much going on there, so I was home by 3:00.

Next weekend is the start of firearms Deer Season here. In the past, I fuckin lived for 'Opening Day'. The excitement and the anticipation that I felt back then is something I really can't put into words. Ask any hunter, he'll tell you.

However, the last couple of years I haven't gone. More to do with location of where I used to go than anything else.....its almost 4 hours away, well, the 'hassle factor' is also there. To me, anymore, I pretty much weigh everything on the 'hassle factor'. If I spend more time aggravated then basically, the hassle isn't fuckin worth it.

But....a friend of mine recently purchased 200 acres only about 30 minutes from my house...very wooded and pretty secluded. He called me a several weeks back and said I could hunt there, if I wanted to. I drove out there, looked around for a few hours, and then put up my portable tree stand. For those of you that are uninitiated to the world of deer hunting...a 'stand' is sumthin you climb up and sit in, when you just walk around hunting, thats called 'still' hunting. I prefer the former.

Anyhow, yesterday I thought I'd drive out there, just to walk around and look for 'signs' (No Elle, not the neon type ;) and also to make sure my 'stand' was in the right spot. Spent about 4 hours walking his property and, much to my surprise, turns out my 'stand' was in a pretty good spot, so no need to move it. When I'm in 'the woods' especially when by myself, I always take a backpack, filled with all my 'just-in-case' shit....flashlight, knife, small first-aid kit, water, some food..ya know, just-in-case I fall and break my fuckin leg at the bottom of a ravine or sumthin.

So, I find a comfortable looking log and decide to have lunch. It warmed up some and I was just sittin there, relaxing and watching the birds....when I heard something walking in the leaves towards my direction, not real loud but not super quiet either. I figured, unless it was another guy walking out here, it was either a deer or a couple of turkey. I reached in my backpack for my camera (never know when you'll come across boobs in the woods ;) and sat very still. Maybe 10 minutes goes by when I see what I've been hearing...an 8 point buck. He's upwind so I know he can't 'scent' me and he's not acting likes he's spooked or anything. He's just walking along with his head down, scrounging for acorns, not a care in the world. I bring my camera up slowly. He just keeps meandering ever closer....until he's no more than 15-18 feet away, THEN, he just plops down...ready for a nap.

I took this picture of him just before he spotted me and took off. Nice looking deer..but I already have one bigger on the wall here at work.....besides, I saw 'signs' of a big one and hopefully that'll happen next weekend......That is, unless I decide that the 'hassle factor' has again, reared its ugly head ;)

STILL Glad I Live In The US

(Deep breath)....Ok, the election is over and my guy didn't win. But, thats alright. At least we live in a country where we have elections and face it, when you have sumthin you're voting on, not everyone is going to be happy with the results.

With that said, the following are a few reasons of why I'm so glad I live here.

Mothers and their children. I always smile when I see them together.

Christmas! I love it, especially for all the little kids. Their expressions on this special day makes you feel so good inside.

The right we have to freedom of expression. It's something that we can never hold tight enough.

Education is the bedrock for any country. I hate to think where this nation would be without it.

We're a nation that prides itself on producing goods that enrich our society. We would accept nothing less.

In this country, one of most precious things we have is the bonding between a parent and a child,

teaching them how to be a credit to their society and passing our traits and ethics along so they can be contributing individuals.

As evidenced by our new President-Elect, no matter your background or your heritage, you can become successful.

In the U.S. we have the right to speak our minds.

And last, but certainly not least, we're proud to show our patriotism. What a country!

MidLife Crisis?...More Than Fuckin Likely

For the past few years, there has been something I have really wanted to get my hands on (Ok, Elle and the girl..you can run with that ;) It's something I have dreamt about but have never acted on..........until this past Sunday.

I'm talking a car. Not just any car but a bad-ass 'muscle car', one from the late 60's. That was when they made fuckin cars that would rattle your windows when they just came down the street. None of that modified Japanese shit that they pass off as 'today's muscle car'. Fuckin puhleeze...

Anyhow, I was looking in the paper Sunday and saw an ad.

It read (in part) : 1968 Pontiac GTO, Color Red Interior Black, 400 4 bbl, 4-speed, 350 HP. Excellent Condition. Must Sell!

I read this ad over and over, already in my mind, clearing out the 3rd car garage side for this thing of beauty. Now this won't be an easy task cuz I have that space filled with my mowers, workbench, 2 table saws, and various other things that I haven't touched in 8 fuckin years ('cept for the mowers). Fuck it, I thought.....no big deal. I'll figure sumthin out....even if it means parking my regular vehicle outside.

So, I call the number listed. The guy was real nice and gave me directions. When I asked "How much you askin?" He tells me that I really need to see it first and then we'll talk price. Ok...I aint no fuckin rookie when it comes to buyin shit (except in this case) and I know better to 'leap before I look' but the excitement was too much and it overcame my natural sensibility. So, I told him I'd be right over.

As my 'senses' slowly returned, I knew the more excited I appeared, the higher the fuckin price would be. Fuck, you don't discount sumthin when you have a wide-eyed, slack-jawed idiot goin thru his midlife-crisis, standin there jumpin up and down like its Christmas morning!

All kinds of shit came to mind before I went there. Should I dress like a fuckin hobo?; Should I wear my John Deere cap?; Should I even fuckin shave? My one problem would be that no matter what I decided on the above, it would be the vehicle I would be pullin up in. I drive a fairly new SUV and its one of the nicer ones. Notice, I said 'drive', not 'own'. It belongs to the company and it was not new (It was a year old and had 1700 miles when the company bought it). But I knew that wouldn't make any difference to the 'seller' as he would figure 'this guy will pay what I ask'.

So, instead I drive into work and swap it for our 2001 Dodge pick-up. I know how shit works and figure I've just saved myself some bucks. Sometimes I marvel at myself ;)

I didn't have that far to drive and when I pulled up...........there it sat, all clean and perfectly shined, the tires gleaming, the chrome sparkling....it was my dream come true. The seller was good..he had the car parked on the side of his house, in the grass with nothing around it to detract from the car itself.

Everything was perfect........................EXCEPT there was another guy looking at...AND..this fuck had driven up in his 2-seater Mercedes...well, fuck me. This guy was about my age and he had on one of those fruity little french lookin caps...not a beret, but fuckin close enough to be cousins. WTF??? This fuckin guy had no fuckin business even lookin at a car like this...he was already drivin what suited him to a fuckin 't'. Oh well....suck it up and try to look 'indifferent', I told myself.

The seller came over and we talked about the 'general' shit you do when you're looking at a car. Him tellin me how well he had maintained it, that it was his Dad's and he got it when his Father passed away. Me actin all 'I'm really not that interested'. Sonofabitch.....this car only had 63000 original miles on it (thats what he said anyhow)!

Then, he said "Would you like to drive it?" FUCKIN WOULD I! ...but, I instead said, "well, sure...just to check it out, ya know".

He gets in with me, leavin MrFuckinMercedes standing there, given me 'that look'. I put the key in the ignition and "VROOOM, VROOM, VROOM....man o man, it was almost orgasmic! I take off and we're fuckin flyin, in 2nd gear, before I realize it. I back it down and tell the guy I'm sorry..he just laughs and says 'What the hell, thats what you're supposed to do in this car". We drive for maybe 20 minutes and I gotta say, I felt like I was 17 and Katie Marie was in the backseat...in her cheerleader outfit ;)

We get out and he tells me whats he's asking. A little more than I had hoped, but still fair. MrFuckinMercedes had evidently already been told what the price was, plus he had driven it as well (I knew this because I had to move the seat back cuz that weasel lookin fucker was maybe, 5'4".

While I'm standin there thinking this thing through, the Mercedes prick pulls my guy aside and starts talkin all low and shit. I see the seller get that 'Oh Boy' look on his face and then he comes back to me and says "Uh...that guy just offered $1000 more than I'm askin. As J-Fab would say "fuck me running". I was close to playin that 'OH YEAH......WELL I'LL GO $1500'........but, I didn't (sigh). I figured he'd jump up again and then what?

I shake the guys hand, thank him and then start that long 'deadman walking' walk back to the truck. Then, I turn to and go back to the seller guy, hand him my business card and say "Listen, if this guy has trouble coming up with the cash, gimme a call". Mercedes Boy gave me his 'I outta kick your ass' look, but it was weak, at best. I gave him my 'try it and I'll shove that fruity hat up your ass' look. My look was waaaaaaay cooler ;)

It was a long drive home though.

Happy Halloween From My Friend at "SV"

I told y'all 'bout the one costume that was going to be worn today, "Sexy Nurse". Well, she freakin lied.

This was what she wore instead, some stupid Belly Dancer thing.

You just can't trust girls. I am soooooooooooo bummed :(

Back to "Normal" (Re-Post)

(Ok...I fucked that up...somehow. So, let me start again.....sigh).

I realize that 'normal' is relative, but you get the idea ;)

First, I want to thank everyone, again, for all the compassion that was shown. It's really very cool, and touching, when 'strangers' show you 'the love' :)

I'd also like to congratulate the Phillies....and our resident 'Phanatics', 'the girl' and her sister, Suzie (it's too cool for words, isn't it? :) I thought 'Our Town's Joe Buck did a great job on the telecast. He's one smart guy as well as being one funny fucker, in a very dry way. I was parked next to him last Christmas season at a local mall. Very nice guy...and his wife is pretty hot ;)

Tomorrow, being Halloween, all the girls at "SV" are dressing up (or down) in costumes. I only know the theme of two of them, 'Sexy Nurse' and 'Pocahontas'. I get the former but unless its a 'Poke-a-hontas' thing, I don't get the latter. Anyhow, I'll take my camera and see if i can't get something 'worthwhile' to post ;) Oh, I'm sure the guy we call 'Fat Curt' will be there, wearing the same 'really fuckin hilarious' t-shirt that he's worn every fuckin Halloween for the past 9 years....a 'XXXX' size orange jack-o-lantern lookin thing. Fuck...ok, it was amusing the first 2,3,4,5, times...but man, give it a fuckin rest. It was funny, now you look just plain fuckin stupid.

I liked Halloween as a kid 'cept for those houses that gave you fucked up shit like; apples, oranges, ink pens (wtf?), that shitty 'nickel' candy, which you threw away anyhow, and the absolutely fuckin worst thing of all.....PENNIES! Yeah, just what ever kid wants, a handful of dirty fuckin pennies. All that told me was that these people were too fuckin lazy to go out and get real candy so instead they waited until the last fuckin minute and scrounged around under their fuckin sofa cushions and this is what they came up with. Yes, these people got fucked with...well fuck, afterall it is called 'Trick OR Treat'.

Another thing that got you fucked with was turning your lights off and pretending not to be home. Yeah...even though we were kids, we're not fuckin stupid. Lets see.....its a weeknight (usually), your old, and you're not home....right, we're buying that.

My neighbors across the street pulled that shit for several years, that is until THEY had kids. Now, its like the subdivision is holding a 'Best Dressed Haunted House' contest and they want to win 1st place. I bet they put up a thousand dollars worth of decorations and shit...all that 'inflatable' shit, they even hide speakers in their fuckin bushes so they can regale the rest of the fuckin neighborhood with their collection of 'spooky music'................puhleeze! I don't care for this guy at all, plus his wife is all skinny, no boobs, and has a weird fuckin haircut.

I'd also like to post an 'open message' to the Oriental family that lives down the street: Last year, I let it slide that your 4 kids came to my house for candy, but didn't bother to even put on a fuckin costume, just stood there with their fuckin bags held open. Your kids aren't that little (8-12) that they don't 'know the score'. Plus, you as parents who live in the USA, should 'know the score' as well. I'll still give 'em candy if they don't dress up, but I will fuck with you come spring. You see, thats when you have your 'Annual Garage Sale' and you have to have the subdivision trustee (me) sign off on the permit. So, instead of me signing, you'll get "Soree...no unerstan".
Hey, its the USA and we have rules....learn 'em.

Happy Halloween, everyone, and remember...don't eat candy and drive ;)

My Buddy, Jim

Jim is a friend of mine that I have known for over 10 years. We met one another at my favorite bar, "SV", and shared many of the same fine 'guy' qualities.

Jim comes in to the bar everyday and sits at the bar with the rest of 'the group'. Real good sense of humor and can 'give shit' as well as he takes it, a quality sorely lacking in most people.

We talk about sports all the time and Jim has always deferred to me regarding baseball, seeing that I am the resident 'expert' ;) We talked politics but Jim showed way more passion for this than me. I deferred to him on this subject. Oh, we also talked about boobs........duh.

Jim owned a small printing business and was very sucessful. As he got older, he cut his hours back some but still worked everyday and was very active.

He had a rough time with cancer a few years back and there was concern that he wouldn't make it..............but he did.

Jim has 4 daughters and he put every one of them through private schools and saw to it that they all got their degree's (as he put it 'I don't want them being dependent on a guy for their self-worth')

Talked to him before I left "SV" Monday afternoon and we both agreed that the Phillies were going to win the World Series.

Jim died yesterday of an apparent heart attack, at work, at his desk.

I'm sure going to miss him.

Efen Ebert

There was some discussion the other day, started on The Warped Mind of Ron's page, about going to the movies. Basically it centered around the cost involved including the the ridiculously high prices of popcorn and soda (or pop ;).

I don't go all that often BUT I did go last night. A friend of mine called and suggested a dinner and a movie. If we go to the show at all, its with this couple. He and I have the same preferences on movie content; 'R-rated', guns, action, and of course.......boobs.

We tossed it back and forth, should we see ' Pride and Glory' or 'Body of Lies? We opted for 'Pride and Glory', for no particular reason other than the trailers we had seen looked good.

Since we're pretty much..uh..old, we decide to go to dinner at 5:30. Thats gives us plenty of time before the 7:30 movie.....and no, around here there aren't any 'Early Bird Specials' at 5:30 on a Saturday night (STFU Elle ;)

We buy the tickets 'on-line' before we go.....$9.00 a ticket..wtf? I do like this aspect of today's 'movie-going' experience though. Don't have to stand in line with the dumbfucks who are trying to decide at the very last fucking moment which movie they are going to see (Geez honey, I don't know..that one looks good; whatever you think, sugar; no dear, its your choice) FUCK ME!!!! Here's an idea...Have a fuckin clue before you get there!

Dinner was 'marginal'....nothing like plunking down $95.00 fuckin dollars (for 4) for a 'marginal' dinner. Even the 'Cubano Mojita', which is the 'signature' drink of this establishment sucked.

Shoulda known this was a precursor of things to come.

After dinner, we head to the theater. 'Course this ain't no 'normal' theater. It has 20 Fuckin screens, including those with 'theater seating', I-Max screens (2 of 'em), and 'Digital-Projection' screens (huh?...I thought they were all 'digitally projected').

But first, we have to get our popcorn and soda (or pop). So, we get the 'Medium Special'...4 drinks and 2 popcorns.......$30 fuckin dollars for this. Now you may be saying "Efen.....you JUST had dinner!". I know, but like I said, it was 'marginal' and popcorn and soda (or pop) is kinda 'traditional' when going to the movies.

Ya know the movie really doesn't start when they say it will. You have all the 'trailers' shown first. They did show a couple that looked pretty good although some times the trailers are better than the actual movie itself...duh.

One they showed was a comedy, which I normally don't care for, because they usually aren't funny....just stupid. But this one did look good and I like Vince Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon. The movie is '4 Christmases' and you can check it out here: http://www.fourchristmasesmovie.com/ Another they showed was one coming out in December (I think) I'm really looking forward to this one. It's called 'Gran Torino' and it stars Clint Eastwood (who, I admit, I have a man-crush on ;) You can see this at: http://thegrantorino.com/

Now with the review of 'Pride and Glory' (don't worry, I won't spoil the ending or anything).

It stars Edward Norton & Colin Farrell along with Jon Voight. It's a 'cop movie' and the plot is fairly basic...'good cop versus bad cop'. This movie is LONG....2:10 and I think thats the main problem. Knock off 45 minutes or so and this would have been a pretty decent movie but they didn't and it drags...and drags. Its never a good sign when you find yourself checking the time and telling yourself that 'It has to be over SOON!'. The storyline is disjointed and there's so much mumbling going on you're straining to hear what the fuck it was they actually said. Norton is ok, doesn't show much emotion throughout, Farrell is probably the best and his character does a roller-coaster on what exactly the type of person he is. Jon Voight is, well, pink. His face looks like a baby's butt...I have never seen someone whose color is as pink as his. I found that distracting as I kept focusing on it whenever he was on-screen. Plus, I never could figure out exactly what his 'position' was in the NYPD. He plays the father of Norton (as well as that of another NYPD cop). There are guns and shootings along with a couple of major beat-downs. Oh....a couple of quick flashes of some crack-heads boobs.....but that was disappointing as well.

I give it '2 Efens'....out of 5.